First: When a Muslim hears the call for prayer, he should rise up to the remembrance of Allah and not let anything take him away from answering that call. The Lord SWT said: In houses that Allah ordered to be built and His name to be mentioned in them mornings and nights, men who are not diverted by trade or selling from the Remembrance of Allah, pray, give alms, fear a day where hearts and eyesight’s are diverted in all directions. (24:36-37)
Second: The Internet is a way for communication that is considered a double-edged weapon. When it provides benefit, it becomes a gift. And when it provides evil, it becomes a disgrace. Muslim should use the good side of this facility to serve his religion and life, rather than its evil side that corrupts his religion and life.
Third: It’s very important for internet users to protect their eyes from falling on prohibited scenes. The prohibited scene is considered Satan’s arrow, his weapon that he uses to spoil the Muslims heart by offering immediate pleasure, followed by long lasting feelings of remorse and regret. Watching scenes that Allah prohibited causes darkness in the heart, gloominess in the chest and heaviness and reluctance to perform actions of worshiping Allah. It deprives the soul of enjoying the sweetness of deep faith. By all means it is a tool that Satan uses to sugar coat sins with, and the moment one falls in this trap, Satan takes complete control of his heart, and play with it like a young boy who plays with a ball. The end is always a fatal loss.
Fourth: Don’t let the internet consume your effort and time for no value. That happens when you navigate between the various sites and online groups for long hours. You waste your precious lifetime hours. That time that you should devote for people like your family, parents, children and relatives, or for your job where you earn the living for you and your dependants.
Fifth: Visit the Islamic Sites frequently. Visit the useful sites that add to your useful information, and widens up your scales of knowledge. Stay away from the sites that promote corruption to Belief or Morals, those groups that seek the spread of Fitnah or controversy, even if this is over religious issues. Bad controversy is of no avail. Don’t interfere in conversations with the enemies of Islam unless you have the necessary knowledge and power that enables you to handle this task. And if not, ask a scholar to handle it instead.
Sixth: Take caution against the chatting sites. They are traps for males and females to drag them into a prohibited relationship, which often starts by an innocent introduction and end up in mere pain and causes damage to life and faith.
Seventh: Its either you control or you get controlled by the trap of the internet. If you put it under your control, you take its benefit and shed away its harm. Hence Internet becomes a gift from Allah for your welfare. And if you fall under its control, it blurs your eyes with its glittering charm and temporary pleasures, steals your money, time, life and the duties your have towards your family and beloved ones. You become the prey without being aware of it. Save yourself from this trap before you are lost, and before it is too late.
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Monday, 21 November 2011
Choosing Your Friends
Humans have always been social creatures and in need of friends and companions. A good part of our lives is spent in interaction with others. For Muslims like us who are living in a society where we are clearly a minority, the issue of choosing the right companions is essential for preserving our Deen. Befriending righteous and virtuous Muslims is a necessary means for staying on the Straight Path.
In an authentic Hadith, the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: "A person is likely to follow the faith of his friend, so look whom you befriend." [reported by Abu Dawood & Tirmidhee].
Mixing with followers of any way other than that of the Guidance results in a change in one's behaviour, morals and conduct. If we accompany such friends, then we inherit their habits, behaviour and perhaps even their religion. Such a Muslim would find himself in a situation where he is willing to hide his or her Islam in front of those who despise it (those whom he considers as friends) and to separate from the believers. When this situation occurs, a point is reached when there is a very slight difference between the Muslim and his wrong-doing companion. Many times a Muslim is encouraged by his friends to do evil and to forget his duties. The result is that Muslims themselves are often ashamed to leave them to perform prayer, their friends thus causing them to clearly deviate from the Right Path.
Instead of making friends with the misguided ones we should befriend the righteous but still treat everyone else in a gracious and just manner.
In another Hadith, Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: "The example of a good companion and a bad companion is like that of the seller of musk, and the one who blows the blacksmith's bellows (respectively). So as for the seller of musk then either he will grant you some, or you buy some from him, or at least you enjoy a pleasant smell from him. As for the one who blows the blacksmith's bellows then either he will burn your clothes or you will get an offensive smell from him." [Bukhari & Muslim]
In his commentary of this Hadith, Imam an-Nawawi said that the Prophet (peace be upon him) compared a good companion to a seller of musk and spoke of the virtue of having companions who are good, who have noble manners, piety, knowledge and good culture. Such are those who grant us from their virtue. And he (peace be upon him) forbade us to sit with those who do evil, commit a lot of sins and other bad deeds, as well as with innovators, backbiters, and so forth. Another scholar said: "Keeping good company with the pious results in attainment of beneficial knowledge, noble manners and righteous actions, whereas keeping company with the wicked prevents all of that."
Allah the Exalted says in the Qur'an: "And (remember) the Day when the wrong-doer will bite his hands and say: Woe to me! Would that I had taken a path with the Messenger. Woe to me! If only I had not taken so- and-so as a friend! He has led me astray from this Reminder (the Qur'an) after it had come to me." [25:27-29].
He also says: "Friends on that Day will be enemies one to another, except al-Muttaqoon (i.e. those who have Taqwah)." [43:67]
In two authentic narrations of the Prophet (peace be upon him) we were commanded to keep company with a believer only, and told that a person will be with those he loves. So if we love and associate ourselves with those who are misguided, we should fear for our fate. The wise person is the one who prepares himself for the Hereafter, not the one who neglects his faith and falls into the trap of Satan who tells him that he will be forgiven and that he can do whatever he wishes. If we truly believe that the best speech is the Speech of Allah and that the best guidance is the guidance of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), we should act in accordance with them, lest we build a proof against ourselves.
From another perspective, a “believer is the mirror of his brother,” and if he sees any faults in the other believer, he draws his attention to it in an acceptable manner, helps him to give it up and to wipe away any evil that he may have.
We ask Allah to make us of the righteous ones and give us companions who will take us away from His wrath and lead us to His pleasure and Paradise.
In an authentic Hadith, the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: "A person is likely to follow the faith of his friend, so look whom you befriend." [reported by Abu Dawood & Tirmidhee].
Mixing with followers of any way other than that of the Guidance results in a change in one's behaviour, morals and conduct. If we accompany such friends, then we inherit their habits, behaviour and perhaps even their religion. Such a Muslim would find himself in a situation where he is willing to hide his or her Islam in front of those who despise it (those whom he considers as friends) and to separate from the believers. When this situation occurs, a point is reached when there is a very slight difference between the Muslim and his wrong-doing companion. Many times a Muslim is encouraged by his friends to do evil and to forget his duties. The result is that Muslims themselves are often ashamed to leave them to perform prayer, their friends thus causing them to clearly deviate from the Right Path.
Instead of making friends with the misguided ones we should befriend the righteous but still treat everyone else in a gracious and just manner.
In another Hadith, Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: "The example of a good companion and a bad companion is like that of the seller of musk, and the one who blows the blacksmith's bellows (respectively). So as for the seller of musk then either he will grant you some, or you buy some from him, or at least you enjoy a pleasant smell from him. As for the one who blows the blacksmith's bellows then either he will burn your clothes or you will get an offensive smell from him." [Bukhari & Muslim]
In his commentary of this Hadith, Imam an-Nawawi said that the Prophet (peace be upon him) compared a good companion to a seller of musk and spoke of the virtue of having companions who are good, who have noble manners, piety, knowledge and good culture. Such are those who grant us from their virtue. And he (peace be upon him) forbade us to sit with those who do evil, commit a lot of sins and other bad deeds, as well as with innovators, backbiters, and so forth. Another scholar said: "Keeping good company with the pious results in attainment of beneficial knowledge, noble manners and righteous actions, whereas keeping company with the wicked prevents all of that."
Allah the Exalted says in the Qur'an: "And (remember) the Day when the wrong-doer will bite his hands and say: Woe to me! Would that I had taken a path with the Messenger. Woe to me! If only I had not taken so- and-so as a friend! He has led me astray from this Reminder (the Qur'an) after it had come to me." [25:27-29].
He also says: "Friends on that Day will be enemies one to another, except al-Muttaqoon (i.e. those who have Taqwah)." [43:67]
In two authentic narrations of the Prophet (peace be upon him) we were commanded to keep company with a believer only, and told that a person will be with those he loves. So if we love and associate ourselves with those who are misguided, we should fear for our fate. The wise person is the one who prepares himself for the Hereafter, not the one who neglects his faith and falls into the trap of Satan who tells him that he will be forgiven and that he can do whatever he wishes. If we truly believe that the best speech is the Speech of Allah and that the best guidance is the guidance of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), we should act in accordance with them, lest we build a proof against ourselves.
From another perspective, a “believer is the mirror of his brother,” and if he sees any faults in the other believer, he draws his attention to it in an acceptable manner, helps him to give it up and to wipe away any evil that he may have.
We ask Allah to make us of the righteous ones and give us companions who will take us away from His wrath and lead us to His pleasure and Paradise.
I Can't! It's Impossible!
“I Can’t, It’s Impossible”
Article by: Shaikh Naser Al-Omar
Translated, slightly abridged and adapted by: Samir Siksek
Arabic original found on: http://www.islamtoday.net/
One often hears these words repeated, and they are a major reason for the state of failure that the Ummah is enduring.
These words are rooted in a state of mental inability, even though this inability is illusory, not real. Indeed, disabled minds only produce failure.
There is no doubt that there are things in life that are impossible. This is why when the Prophet – blessings and peace be upon him – used to take the oath of allegiance from his companions, he would make them repeat, “[I will listen and obey] to the utmost of my ability”. Allah – Glorified is He – says “Allah does not burden any soul with more than it can bear” [2:286]
This shows that there are some things beyond our abilities. We are not talking about this fact here. For otherwise we may enter into a prolonged discussion, and end upholding the illusion “I can’t, it’s impossible”, and moreover giving this illusion an 'Islamic' justification!
These two phrases “I can’t, it’s impossible” – despite their difference in meaning – have become a law that is used to excuse every failure, negligence and backwardness. They are used to justify the current backwardness, to numb the senses, to destroy the resolve of the Ummah, and to kill every success in its infancy.
Many people, generation after generation, took these two phrases as a beacon guiding their lives, as a way of thinking that makes them accept the current bitter state of affairs, and at the same time feel satisfied that there is nothing they can do.
I stand perplexed before the incredible backwardness of the Ummah, despite its enormous potential for success, progress, and leadership. I have thought long and hard about this, and have decided that the most prominent reason for this backwardness – and there are many – is the illusion “I can’t, its impossible”. This illusion has turned into an unshakeable principle. From it we take off, and in its darkness we operate.
How many tribulations befell us, and are still falling, because of this illusion. The most dangerous of these is not realizing that this is just an illusion; that it disappears when we start investigating it. But you will find those who waste a part of their life defending the idol “I can’t, it’s impossible”. They waste a part of their life trying to prove that this idol is a solid fact; an unquestionable axiom.
This illusion did not form overnight. It is the result of an accumulation of many factors, over the course of many years. Instead of producing men who would lead the Ummah forward without surrendering to the difficulties and obstacles, we found those factors producing more hopelessness, failure and despair.
But I am also amazed at that idolatrous nation that took from difficulties a starting point for its progress, until it was able to compete vigorously with its former enemies, without surrendering to psychological defeat, nor emotional despair. Japan rose from the ashes of Hiroshima and Nagasaki to become an important economic power, and did not make those defeats a reason to cry and hope for the sympathies of others.
As for Germany, it came out from underneath the ruins of World War II to become a powerful nation, and its economy one of the strongest in the world. This despite the fact that Germany was destroyed not long ago – the period between its destruction and its rise as an economic leader is less than 30 years.
Let me just imagine. Had the revivers of the Ummah surrendered to the illusion “I can’t, it’s impossible”, how would the Ummah have been now?!!
Had Abu Bakr – may Allah be pleased with him – said, “I can’t fight the Arabs after their apostasy, and I will surrender to this bitter state of affairs”, what would the result have been? Simply thinking about that scares me.
Had Imam Ahmad bin Hanbal – may Allah have mercy on him – not took his solid stand in the face of the makers of fitnah, backed by rulers who did not realize the danger of what is being said…Had he surrendered and said, “I can’t, it’s impossible”, do you think that that great victory for Ahl-us-Sunnah (at the hands of one man!) would have taken place?
Had Salahu-ud-Din surrendered to the awful humiliation that the Ummah endured under the occupation of the crusaders, excusing himself that he cannot take on that great power that possesses the most powerful weapons, with the unqualified support of many countries… Had he accepted what many other rulers of his time had accepted, humiliation and subjugation, together with the guarantee of continued rule…Had he done this, and said the removal of the crusaders is impossible, would Jerusalem have been purified from the crusaders and their hatred? How today is like yesterday.
Had Shaikh-ul-Islam, Ibn Taymiyah – may Allah have mercy on him – not seriously raised the banner of knowledge, action and jihad, at a time of when callers to falsehood and innovation became outspoken, at a time of political and military defeats…Had he surrendered to the belief “I can’t, it’s impossible”, would history have recorded for us that huge heritage of heroism, knowledge and challenging of falsehood?
Had Muhammad bin Abdul-Wahhab – may Allah have mercy on him – when he found the Arabian Peninsula living in the darkness of ignorance, innovation and blind following, had he accepted for himself what other righteous people did, “I can’t, it’s impossible”, do you think the Peninsula would have awaken from its sleep and got rid of its idolatry and innovations?
Our long history is full of such pioneering leaders and revivers, who recorded for us the most admirable examples the Muslim’s ability to overcome the greatest of physical and mental obstacles, neither surrendering to psychological defeat, nor allowing the compound difficulties to numb their senses.
Many would say, “They were great men, and how few such men are!!”
I say that we did not know they were great until after they recorded those shinning pages of history with their admirable victories in different fields. Before that they were just ordinary men. However, for many reasons, they were able to climb the ladder of success that made them heroes and leaders. Foremost of these reasons is the destruction of the illusion “I can’t, it’s impossible”
Directions to Giving Naseehah (Good Advice)
"The religion is naseehah." The people asked, "To whom?" The Prophet (sallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam) replied, "To Allah and to His Book and to His Messenger and to the leaders of the Muslims and the common folk." [Collected by Bukhari, Muslim]
It lurks in the deepest, darkest parts of ourselves and waits expectantly for opportunities to strike. It attacks our defences of eeman, strategically tears down our walls of taqwa and ruthlessly diminishes our ihsan, or perfection of worship. Struggling against the evil that is inherent in all of us, is a battle that is fought on a daily, even hourly basis, and like most wars it is seldom won alone. Allah, through His eternal mercy, has given the believers the most powerful weapon available to assure victory in this constant struggle between good and evil - each other.
How many of us have looked to our brothers and sisters in Islam and have seen them straying from the path of Allah, and have turned our faces away? How many of us have seen our brothers erring and said to ourselves, it is none of my business? Well, it is our business for the Prophet (sallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam) has made it our business. In the hadith related by Tamim ad-Dari, the Prophet (sallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam) said, "The religion is naseehah." The people asked, "To whom?" The Prophet (sallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam) replied, "To Allah and to His Book and to His Messenger and to the leaders of the Muslims and the common folk." [Collected by Bukhari, Muslim]
The Prophet (sallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam) has equated the entire religion to giving naseehah, but what exactly is naseehah? Naseehah is an Arabic word that is usually translated to mean "sincerity" or "sincere advice", but actually embodies every type of virtue. As believers, this statement of the Prophet (sallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam) must be taken to heart. By learning what naseehah is, we can then act on it and bring about positive changes in ourselves and each other. Naseehah is a wonderful weapon, but like most weapons, if the user does not know how to use it properly, it can cause more harm than good.
How is Naseehah given to Allah?
i) By establishing His worship by offering the obligatory deeds with perfection.
ii) By believing in Him; negating partners from Him; not denying any of His qualities; describing Him with all the qualities of beauty and perfection; and declaring Him to be far removed from faults and qualities of imperfection.
iii) By establishing His obedience and turning away from His disobedience.
iv) By loving and hating for His sake; befriending and making allegiance to those who obey Him and taking as enemies those who disobey Him; and turning toward what He loves and distancing oneself from displeasing Him.
v) By appreciating His blessings, bounties and thanking Him for them by obeying Him out of love and drawing closer to Him through the heart.
vi) By calling to all of the above, teaching it and being sincere in it for His sake.
ii) By believing in Him; negating partners from Him; not denying any of His qualities; describing Him with all the qualities of beauty and perfection; and declaring Him to be far removed from faults and qualities of imperfection.
iii) By establishing His obedience and turning away from His disobedience.
iv) By loving and hating for His sake; befriending and making allegiance to those who obey Him and taking as enemies those who disobey Him; and turning toward what He loves and distancing oneself from displeasing Him.
v) By appreciating His blessings, bounties and thanking Him for them by obeying Him out of love and drawing closer to Him through the heart.
vi) By calling to all of the above, teaching it and being sincere in it for His sake.
How is Naseehah given to the Book of Allah?
i) By firmly believing in the heart that it is the Speech of Allah and His revelation; it is not like the words of the creation; and none of His creation is capable of producing something similar to it.
ii) By respecting it.
iii) By learning and teaching it; reading, reciting, and writing it properly; understanding its meaning; staying within its bounds; acting upon what is contained in it.
ii) By respecting it.
iii) By learning and teaching it; reading, reciting, and writing it properly; understanding its meaning; staying within its bounds; acting upon what is contained in it.
How is Naseehah to the Prophet (sallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam) given?
i) By affirming his prophethood.
ii) By firmly believing in the heart in everything he came with; obeying him
in what he commanded and what he forbade.
iii) By aiding him while he was alive and after his death; taking his enemies as one's enemies, and befriending those who take him as a friend.
iv) By realising the greatness of his right upon us, honouring him, and reviving his Sunnah.
v) By practising his Sunnah by spreading and affirming it; refuting those who cast doubts upon it; spreading its knowledge and its understanding; not arguing about it without knowledge; calling others toward it; teaching it with gentleness; showing its greatness and the greatness of those who adhere to it by attaching oneself to them; and showing it its due respect when studying it.
vi) By loving the Ahl-ul-Bait (his family) and his companions; turning away from those who belittle his family or revile his companions.
ii) By firmly believing in the heart in everything he came with; obeying him
in what he commanded and what he forbade.
iii) By aiding him while he was alive and after his death; taking his enemies as one's enemies, and befriending those who take him as a friend.
iv) By realising the greatness of his right upon us, honouring him, and reviving his Sunnah.
v) By practising his Sunnah by spreading and affirming it; refuting those who cast doubts upon it; spreading its knowledge and its understanding; not arguing about it without knowledge; calling others toward it; teaching it with gentleness; showing its greatness and the greatness of those who adhere to it by attaching oneself to them; and showing it its due respect when studying it.
vi) By loving the Ahl-ul-Bait (his family) and his companions; turning away from those who belittle his family or revile his companions.
Naseehah to the leaders of the Muslims
It is wajib (obligatory) to give naseehah to the leaders of the Muslims, since they have faults and are not protected from committing errors, but who are the leaders of the Muslims?
i) They are the Caliphs and others responsible for the affairs of the Muslims.
ii) They are religious scholars.
ii) They are religious scholars.
As for giving naseehah to the rulers of the Muslims, it includes:
i) Assisting and obeying them in the right.
ii) Reminding them if they err or forget.
iii) Making Jihad with them.
ii) Reminding them if they err or forget.
iii) Making Jihad with them.
Giving naseehah to the scholars includes:
i) Spreading their knowledge.
ii) Spreading their virtues.
iii) Having good opinion about them.
iv) Accepting their rulings if they give sound proofs for their decisions.
v) Giving them the benefit of the doubt, or making excuses for them if they make mistakes.
vi) Honouring and respecting them.
ii) Spreading their virtues.
iii) Having good opinion about them.
iv) Accepting their rulings if they give sound proofs for their decisions.
v) Giving them the benefit of the doubt, or making excuses for them if they make mistakes.
vi) Honouring and respecting them.
Naseehah to the common Muslims
The following includes giving naseehah to ALL Muslims, be they black, white, Arab or Pakistani; be they sinful, ignorant or heedless. It also includes giving naseehah to Muslims, no matter which organisation or group they belong to or if one likes them or dislikes them.
How is Naseehah given to the common Muslims?
i) By guiding them to what will bring them benefit in this life and in the Hereafter.
ii) By removing harm from them and bringing them benefit.
iii) By teaching them what one loves for oneself and hating for them what one hates for oneself.
iv) By teaching them what will benefit them.
v) By commanding them what is right and forbidding them what is wrong with gentleness and sincerity.
vi) By being soft with them, honouring the elderly, loving and being merciful towards the youths.
vii) By not being deceptive and jealous toward them.
viii) Protecting their honour and wealth.
ii) By removing harm from them and bringing them benefit.
iii) By teaching them what one loves for oneself and hating for them what one hates for oneself.
iv) By teaching them what will benefit them.
v) By commanding them what is right and forbidding them what is wrong with gentleness and sincerity.
vi) By being soft with them, honouring the elderly, loving and being merciful towards the youths.
vii) By not being deceptive and jealous toward them.
viii) Protecting their honour and wealth.
MANNERS OF GIVING NASEEHAH
Seeking the Pleasure of Allah by giving Naseehah
It is necessary that a person has the intention of seeking the pleasure of Allah when giving naseehah. Only such an intention deserves reward from Allah and acceptance from His slaves.
If the intention is other than that, then that person deserves the anger and wrath of Allah as well as the hatred and rejection of the people - including the one being advised.
Not slandering the one being advised
This is an affliction that has befallen many Muslims. Many times, after taking a closer look, we find that the person giving naseehah actually wants to slander the person he is advising because of personal hatred. This does not befit the one being advised and may lead to a worse situation with no benefit resulting from the naseehah.
Naseehah is to be given in secret
Naseehah is most likely to bear its fruit when given to a person when he is by himself, for in such a situation the person is less likely to be affected by the thoughts of others. The sincere advisor should not aid the Devil over his brother by publicly rebuking him and letting Shaitaan beguile his brother into not taking the naseehah. This closes the doors of goodness and acceptance, and reduces the chances of the naseehah from being accepted.
This is why our pious predecessors used to give naseehah in secret. Hafidh Ibn Rajab writes, "When the righteous predecessors intended to give naseehah to someone, they admonished him privately, to the point that some of them said, "The one who exhorts his brother between him and himself , then it is naseehah. The one who exhorts him in front of people, then it is merely scolding!"
Fudail Ibn Ayyadh, one of the pious scholars from our predecessors, said, "A believer covers up and gives naseehah, whereas an evildoer exposes and humiliates." Ibn Rajab commented on Fudail's saying, "It is naseehah if it is with a cover, while humiliating is with broadcasting."
Naseehah is to be given with kindness, gentleness and softness
A sincere advisor must be kind, soft and well-mannered in giving naseehah to others, as this might get the desired response from the one he is advising. One must understand that accepting naseehah is like opening a door, and that the door will not open without the proper key. The one who is given naseehah has a heart that has a lock in some matter - for he has abandoned something that Allah has demanded from him, or has committed something that Allah had forbidden him from. There is no better key to unlock the heart than kindness in giving advice, gentleness in exhortation and softness in speech as the Prophet (sallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam) has said, "Kindness is not to be found in anything but that it adds to its beauty, and it is not withdrawn from anything but it makes it defective." [Muslim]
Do not compel others to follow one's Naseehah
It is wajib (obligatory) on the advisor to render sincere advice to others, but it is not his right to compel others to follow his advice as well. That is the right of the Muslim ruler upon his subjects or a Muslim Qadhi (Judge) in his jurisdiction. A sincere advisor is one who guides toward goodness, but he is not to command others to act upon it.
Ibn Hazm writes that one should not give naseehah on the condition that it must be accepted, otherwise if one goes beyond this, he will be oppressing not advising, and seeking obedience and control. In another passage, Ibn Hazm writes that if a person is mistaken in his advice, he would be expecting people to follow him in his mistake.
Choosing the proper time to give Naseehah
The one giving naseehah must choose the right time to give his advice, since a person is not always ready to receive naseehah.A person may be angry about something, upset about not getting what he wanted, grieved for something he may have lost, or there may be some other reason that might prevent him from responding to the naseehah.
Abdul Hamid Bilali writes, "Choosing proper time and place is one of the greatest causes for the acceptance of naseehah and eradicating evil", and as Abdullah Ibn Mas'ud said, "Hearts (sometimes) yearn and are attentive, but (sometimes) they go through lapses and feed repulsion. So take from them when they are (in a state of) yearning and are attentive, and leave them alone when they go through lapses and are feeling repulsion."
Naseehah that is against Islam is not to be followed
Giving naseehah is part of Sharia. Therefore, if someone gives advice to leave a deen demanded by the Sharia or to perform a forbidden deed, then it is not called naseehah. The one giving such should quit doing that and the one being advised should not accept it. For instance, if someone tells you to shave your beard, to expose some part of the body by taking off the hijab, to shake hands with women on job interviews, to date the girl you are interested in, to take a job at a gas station that sells alcohol, or to go see the latest movie, then you should not obey. These matters are not counted as naseehah which the Prophet (sallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam) made part of the religion.
FACTORS AFFECTING THE ACCEPTANCE OF NASEEHAH
i) Naseehah must be given according to the proper manners which have been described above.
ii) One of the most important factors that contribute in one's rejecting a fellow Muslim's naseehah is arrogance. Arrogance prevents one from accepting naseehah and acting upon it. Whereas, the one who continuously strives to take arrogance out of his heart, finds it easy to accept naseehah. This is because the Prophet (sallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam) said, "Arrogance is to reject the truth and despise the people."
ii) One of the most important factors that contribute in one's rejecting a fellow Muslim's naseehah is arrogance. Arrogance prevents one from accepting naseehah and acting upon it. Whereas, the one who continuously strives to take arrogance out of his heart, finds it easy to accept naseehah. This is because the Prophet (sallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam) said, "Arrogance is to reject the truth and despise the people."
Naseehah is from the truth and the advisor is from the people. The arrogant person, on the other hand, is one who rejects the truth and looks down on the people. As a result, neither the naseehah nor the one giving it suits him. On the contrary, a humble person will accept naseehah from others with an open heart, no matter where the advisor comes from, because he knows that a wajib (obligatory deed) is being conveyed.
Unfortunately, many are tricked by Shaitaan in this matter to accept naseehah only from those who are from the same country, or are of the same race, or hold affiliations with the same Islamic organisation / party as they do. The situation gets very sad when some of our brothers and sisters will not take naseehah because the one giving it has not been a Muslim for very long, or has not lived in America for very long, or is too young to be "telling people what to do." They pay no attention to the naseehah itself, or try to determine whether the naseehah itself is according to the Quran and Sunnah. Rather they are quick to reject their fellow Muslim's naseehah due to such baseless reasons. We must realise all these subtle forms of looking down on others and rejecting their beneficial naseehah. Remember that the Prophet (sallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam) has said that anyone with an atom's weight of arrogance in their heart will not enter Paradise.
BENEFITS OF NASEEHAH
i) It purifies the one being advised from some weakness. When one sees a fellow Muslim negligent in performing a good deed, or committing some wrong, he should take it upon himself to mend the shortcoming. The shortcoming may pertain to the rights of Allah or to the rights of His slaves.
ii) When a believer gives naseehah to his brother in Islaam, he helps him in a matter in which his brother has erred because the believer loves for his brother what he loves for himself.
iii) When a believer gives naseehah to his brother, he is disposing of the right that his brother has upon him. Just as you would not like to see a fault in yourself, and would work to remove it, likewise, you should not like to see that fault in your brother. You must hate to see in him what you hate to see in yourself, hence, you should give him naseehah to remove that fault as you would have liked to receive naseehah to have that fault removed from you. Give your brother naseehah and guide him toward goodness, and take him away from harm.
Giving naseehah is a sign of true brotherhood, a way of bringing the hearts closer, and of closing the doors of hatred and suspicion. This is why Umar ibn Abdul-Aziz said, "The one who grants naseehah to his brother in matters of this his religion and concerns himself with mending affairs of this life; then, he has granted an excellent gift and fulfilled a wajib that was due on him..." If someone were to ask, "How is naseehah a right of brotherhood, when one's faults are mentioned?" the answer is not to feel apprehension when your brother informs you of your faults. He may know something that perhaps you are unaware of, and is compelled to tell you about it out of sheer compassion. It is a way of winning over the hearts of those who are endowed with insight.
Shaitaan has declared war on all of humanity, and Allah has given the believers the tools necessary to win this war. Informing each other of ugly deeds we perform, or about loathsome characteristics that we may have is like pointing out where the land mines are on a battlefield. By pointing out these hidden dangers, we help to keep each other from destruction. In this war of conquering the self, the help, aid and guidance of our brothers and sisters is needed to assure that ultimate victory, insha'Allah, of true success in this life and in the Hereafter.
Winning Hearts
welcome to me was really warm. Would you please send him this sum of money?”
Look how he loved the man and wished to reward him for his warm welcome.
Be silent….speak in what benefits.
Loud voice and chattering are bad merits. You have to be sweet-worded, tender in expressing yourself. Concerning this merit, The Prophet (peace be upon him) said “The good word is a charity (is a sadaqa).” If the good word has its own magic in winning the hearts of your enemies how powerfully it would work then with your brothers’ hearts!!
Here the Prophet’s wife addresses the enemies saying “Damn you” and the Prophet (peace be upon him) prevents her saying “Calm down. Allah likes for the matters to be dealt with gently”. He also said: “Nobility of manners and taciturnity are the best of manners that people are ever characterized by”.
The poet says also:
The pious Allah-fearing may keep silent, in spite of being eloquent.
Be a good listener:
It is to listen patiently and never interrupt the speaker, as the Prophet (peace be upon him) never interrupted a speaker till he ended his speech. And he who fights for this merit gains others love and admiration, whilst on the contrary is the one who chatters and interrupts the other. Atta` tells us about how he behaves concerning this merit and says “When someone speaks to me , I listen to him as if it is the first time I have heard this subject, though I have heard it thousands of times before.
Appearance and dressing well:
You have to be careful with your appearance so as to be neat, well –dressed and sweet smelling as well. The Prophet (peace be upon him) says that Allah loves beauty to be in every thing. Umar Ibn Al Khattab said also “I like the young man who is sweetly perfumed and cleanly dressed.” Abdullah Ibn Ahmad Ibn Hanbal tells us about his father saying “ I’ve never seen some one who is as caring to the cleanliness of his dress , his hair , his moustache and other undesirable body hair as Ahmad Ibn Hanbal used to do”
Being in others favor and helping them:
Concerning this, the poet says:
Good treatment of the other is the only way of captivating his heart.
Good treatment you classifies you as an obedient, beloved slave of Allah as the Prophet (peace be upon him) Muhammad says “The more you are in favor of others, the more you are beloved by Allah” as Allah says in the Quran “And spend of your substance in the cause of Allah, and make not your own hands contribute to (your) destruction; but do good; for Allah loveth those who do good” (Al-Baqarah:195)
The poet says also:
Be a dear friend to all, whom you know,
For all, you should be as freshening as iced pure water
I really wonder for that man who pays money to buy slaves, while he can buy those who are free by being good to them, for those (who treat other well) find many to be in their help.
Being Generous :
Offering money is the key for most of the closed doors that hinder you from reaching others hearts, especially in these days.
Now I will tell you a story about the magic of the merit of generosity.
In the conquest of Makkah, there was a man called “Safwan Ibn Umia”. That man ran away after making all possible means in keeping the people of Islam and after making conspiracies to kill the Prophet (peace be upon him). Later on, the Prophet (peace be upon him) forgave him and he came back asking the Prophet (peace be upon him) to give him the time of two months to think about Islam and the Prophet (peace be upon him) said “You can take four months, not just two”. In spite of being an atheist, he accompanied the Prophet (peace be upon him) in the Hunain and Al Ta’if conquests. In Al Ta`if, while the Prophet (peace be upon him) was dividing the booties of the war, he noticed that man looking longingly to a vast land in which a large number of cattle were flocking. The Prophet (peace be upon him) asked him “Do you like it?” The man eagerly answered “Yes.” The Prophet (peace be upon him) said “It is for you then.” Safwan said “Only a prophet could behave as generously as you have to me. I believe that there is no God but Allah and that Muhammad is His prophet.”
Notice how the Prophet (peace be upon him) found the missing key and succeeded in moving his heart. Some people behave stingily as if they see the ghost of poverty waiting to attack them once they think about being generous in offering money.
To have a good opinion of others and to give them an excuse :
Keeping an eye on others behavior is a bad merit that blocks your way to their hearts. On the contrary is to have a good opinion of them. So, try hard to give your brothers the excuse as much as you can. Concerning this merit, Ibn Al Mubarak says also “The believer is he who gives his brothers the excuse , and the hypocrite is he who seeks their slips.”
Express your feelings… instantly:
If you loved someone, or felt good feelings about him, don’t wait, just tell him at once. Regarding this, the Prophet (peace be upon him) said “ If you felt the brotherly love of Islam towards any ,you should immediately go and tell him about your feelings.” He added “It is the way relations are to be strongly indicated”. Such love is to be blessed by Allah if it is for Allah’s sake, not for any other personal affairs such as seeking high position, money, fame etc…. Unless this love is for Allah’s sake, it is a fruitless kind of brotherhood then. When they meet each other on the Day of Judgement, they are not brothers any more but enemies, as Allah says in the Quran “ Friends on that Day will be foes, one to another; except the Righteous.” (Az-Zukhruf: 67)
The Prophet (peace be upon him) says “A man is in the company of whom he loved.” By this he means that on the Day of Judgment, a person will be with whom he loved. So, we have to choose then between two kinds of societies, one is in enmity and the other is a kind brotherly one. Hence, we find that the Prophet (peace be upon him) associated the Makkan immigrants and the Medinan followers as brothers. It was a rare kind of brotherhood that even two brothers were to be buried together in one grave after being martyred in the conquests. Means of brotherhood was always being indicated by the Prophet (peace be upon him) as he says “You are not allowed to enter heaven till you believe in Allah and you will not be true believers unless you love each other. Shall I tell you something to do that indicates love between you? It is to spread salutation of Peace among you.”
The pity is that people are always either cruelly and harshly treating each other or extremely tender that they adore each other. Actually, it is a matter of striking a balance between heart and mind, something that differs according to the difference of characters and circumstances. It is absolutely a blessing given by Allah.
Sociability :
It is the art of being social. Here, a kind of misconception could exist between sociability and hypocrisy. Could you differentiate between the two meanings?
The Prophet (peace be upon him)’s wife, Aisha said “A man came to visit us, but to my surprise, once the Prophet (peace be upon him) saw him, he said “O…that ill- mannered man”, but the Prophet (peace be upon him) changed completely once he sat with him. He welcomed the man warmly, smiling in his face. When the man left, I asked the Prophet (peace be upon him) about what had surprised me; how he considered this man as being bad, and how he talked to him in such warmth? The Prophet (peace be upon him) answered “Have you ever seen me behaving as a hypocrite?” He added “In the Day of Judgement, the worst degrees are for those whom people deserted for being mistreated by them.”
Al Qurtubi differentiates between hypocrisy and sociability, regarding sociability as a desirable legal behavior, saying that sociability means sacrificing the worldly affairs for the sake of improving either life on earth or religion, or so as to improve both, while hypocrisy aims at sacrificing religion for the sake of the worldly affairs.
Hence, being sociable for ill-mannered people is aiming to achieve two purposes:
Firstly, to avoid being mistreated by them.
Secondly, being good to them could be guidance for them to step the right way. Compliments should be within worldly affairs only, never in religious affairs, otherwise, it will be a matter of hypocrisy.
To be sociable, means to be tender, smiling, praising to the other, intending in the meantime a legal benefit. The Prophet (peace be upon him) says “Being sociable, is as alms-giving.” Ibn Battal says also “Sociability is an ethic of the believers; it is to show open-mindedness in treating others and to delicately speak to them. Both are important elements in seeking reasons for intimacy”
Look how he loved the man and wished to reward him for his warm welcome.
Be silent….speak in what benefits.
Loud voice and chattering are bad merits. You have to be sweet-worded, tender in expressing yourself. Concerning this merit, The Prophet (peace be upon him) said “The good word is a charity (is a sadaqa).” If the good word has its own magic in winning the hearts of your enemies how powerfully it would work then with your brothers’ hearts!!
Here the Prophet’s wife addresses the enemies saying “Damn you” and the Prophet (peace be upon him) prevents her saying “Calm down. Allah likes for the matters to be dealt with gently”. He also said: “Nobility of manners and taciturnity are the best of manners that people are ever characterized by”.
The poet says also:
The pious Allah-fearing may keep silent, in spite of being eloquent.
Be a good listener:
It is to listen patiently and never interrupt the speaker, as the Prophet (peace be upon him) never interrupted a speaker till he ended his speech. And he who fights for this merit gains others love and admiration, whilst on the contrary is the one who chatters and interrupts the other. Atta` tells us about how he behaves concerning this merit and says “When someone speaks to me , I listen to him as if it is the first time I have heard this subject, though I have heard it thousands of times before.
Appearance and dressing well:
You have to be careful with your appearance so as to be neat, well –dressed and sweet smelling as well. The Prophet (peace be upon him) says that Allah loves beauty to be in every thing. Umar Ibn Al Khattab said also “I like the young man who is sweetly perfumed and cleanly dressed.” Abdullah Ibn Ahmad Ibn Hanbal tells us about his father saying “ I’ve never seen some one who is as caring to the cleanliness of his dress , his hair , his moustache and other undesirable body hair as Ahmad Ibn Hanbal used to do”
Being in others favor and helping them:
Concerning this, the poet says:
Good treatment of the other is the only way of captivating his heart.
Good treatment you classifies you as an obedient, beloved slave of Allah as the Prophet (peace be upon him) Muhammad says “The more you are in favor of others, the more you are beloved by Allah” as Allah says in the Quran “And spend of your substance in the cause of Allah, and make not your own hands contribute to (your) destruction; but do good; for Allah loveth those who do good” (Al-Baqarah:195)
The poet says also:
Be a dear friend to all, whom you know,
For all, you should be as freshening as iced pure water
I really wonder for that man who pays money to buy slaves, while he can buy those who are free by being good to them, for those (who treat other well) find many to be in their help.
Being Generous :
Offering money is the key for most of the closed doors that hinder you from reaching others hearts, especially in these days.
Now I will tell you a story about the magic of the merit of generosity.
In the conquest of Makkah, there was a man called “Safwan Ibn Umia”. That man ran away after making all possible means in keeping the people of Islam and after making conspiracies to kill the Prophet (peace be upon him). Later on, the Prophet (peace be upon him) forgave him and he came back asking the Prophet (peace be upon him) to give him the time of two months to think about Islam and the Prophet (peace be upon him) said “You can take four months, not just two”. In spite of being an atheist, he accompanied the Prophet (peace be upon him) in the Hunain and Al Ta’if conquests. In Al Ta`if, while the Prophet (peace be upon him) was dividing the booties of the war, he noticed that man looking longingly to a vast land in which a large number of cattle were flocking. The Prophet (peace be upon him) asked him “Do you like it?” The man eagerly answered “Yes.” The Prophet (peace be upon him) said “It is for you then.” Safwan said “Only a prophet could behave as generously as you have to me. I believe that there is no God but Allah and that Muhammad is His prophet.”
Notice how the Prophet (peace be upon him) found the missing key and succeeded in moving his heart. Some people behave stingily as if they see the ghost of poverty waiting to attack them once they think about being generous in offering money.
To have a good opinion of others and to give them an excuse :
Keeping an eye on others behavior is a bad merit that blocks your way to their hearts. On the contrary is to have a good opinion of them. So, try hard to give your brothers the excuse as much as you can. Concerning this merit, Ibn Al Mubarak says also “The believer is he who gives his brothers the excuse , and the hypocrite is he who seeks their slips.”
Express your feelings… instantly:
If you loved someone, or felt good feelings about him, don’t wait, just tell him at once. Regarding this, the Prophet (peace be upon him) said “ If you felt the brotherly love of Islam towards any ,you should immediately go and tell him about your feelings.” He added “It is the way relations are to be strongly indicated”. Such love is to be blessed by Allah if it is for Allah’s sake, not for any other personal affairs such as seeking high position, money, fame etc…. Unless this love is for Allah’s sake, it is a fruitless kind of brotherhood then. When they meet each other on the Day of Judgement, they are not brothers any more but enemies, as Allah says in the Quran “ Friends on that Day will be foes, one to another; except the Righteous.” (Az-Zukhruf: 67)
The Prophet (peace be upon him) says “A man is in the company of whom he loved.” By this he means that on the Day of Judgment, a person will be with whom he loved. So, we have to choose then between two kinds of societies, one is in enmity and the other is a kind brotherly one. Hence, we find that the Prophet (peace be upon him) associated the Makkan immigrants and the Medinan followers as brothers. It was a rare kind of brotherhood that even two brothers were to be buried together in one grave after being martyred in the conquests. Means of brotherhood was always being indicated by the Prophet (peace be upon him) as he says “You are not allowed to enter heaven till you believe in Allah and you will not be true believers unless you love each other. Shall I tell you something to do that indicates love between you? It is to spread salutation of Peace among you.”
The pity is that people are always either cruelly and harshly treating each other or extremely tender that they adore each other. Actually, it is a matter of striking a balance between heart and mind, something that differs according to the difference of characters and circumstances. It is absolutely a blessing given by Allah.
Sociability :
It is the art of being social. Here, a kind of misconception could exist between sociability and hypocrisy. Could you differentiate between the two meanings?
The Prophet (peace be upon him)’s wife, Aisha said “A man came to visit us, but to my surprise, once the Prophet (peace be upon him) saw him, he said “O…that ill- mannered man”, but the Prophet (peace be upon him) changed completely once he sat with him. He welcomed the man warmly, smiling in his face. When the man left, I asked the Prophet (peace be upon him) about what had surprised me; how he considered this man as being bad, and how he talked to him in such warmth? The Prophet (peace be upon him) answered “Have you ever seen me behaving as a hypocrite?” He added “In the Day of Judgement, the worst degrees are for those whom people deserted for being mistreated by them.”
Al Qurtubi differentiates between hypocrisy and sociability, regarding sociability as a desirable legal behavior, saying that sociability means sacrificing the worldly affairs for the sake of improving either life on earth or religion, or so as to improve both, while hypocrisy aims at sacrificing religion for the sake of the worldly affairs.
Hence, being sociable for ill-mannered people is aiming to achieve two purposes:
Firstly, to avoid being mistreated by them.
Secondly, being good to them could be guidance for them to step the right way. Compliments should be within worldly affairs only, never in religious affairs, otherwise, it will be a matter of hypocrisy.
To be sociable, means to be tender, smiling, praising to the other, intending in the meantime a legal benefit. The Prophet (peace be upon him) says “Being sociable, is as alms-giving.” Ibn Battal says also “Sociability is an ethic of the believers; it is to show open-mindedness in treating others and to delicately speak to them. Both are important elements in seeking reasons for intimacy”
Some Tips on Da'wah
First off, make sure you have both ikhlaas and i'tibaa - sincerity in intention and correction of action. Is your intention truly to bring this person closer to the truth? Or is it to prove him wrong? Or to show off your oratory skills? Make sure your intention is solely for the pleasure of Allah. To bring this person closer to the truth and to guide him to the deen of Allah, al-Islam. And make sure you are performing this daawah in the correct manner, at the proper place and time.
- Know what you're talking about. Make sure you have a sound, deep knowledge of what you say. Remember that Rasulullah, may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, promised a seat in the Hell fire for whoever says a lie about him. Make sure what you say is absolutely correct. Be honest if you don't know. If you do not have a solid knowledge of what you are saying, your contribution may be negative instead of positive.
- Have complete faith in what you're saying with no doubt. It is said that what comes from the mouth goes to the ear, but what comes from the heart goes to the heart. The Arabic saying goes, if you do not have it, you cannot give it. If you don't truly believe something, you can't get someone else to. Your sincerity and certainty in your faith plays a large part in your successfulness at daawah.
- Practice what you preach. The best daawah is by way of example. Don't discuss the importance of truth and honesty in Islam when you lie and cheat constantly. Make sure your actions express the beautiful beliefs and commands of Islam. Hypocricy turns people away.
- Don't compromise Islam or it's beliefs. Don't feel the need to hedge around the truth because it will turn people away. Can men have four wives? Why can't we date? Why don't we accept homosexuality? Don't be apologetic about certain aspects of Islam. Explain it in a way people can understand, but don't change it or act like it's incorrect or archaic.
- Do not become angry. Don't let people effect you or cause you to change your conduct. Have adab always. If someone refuses to hear you out, walk away. Don't sink to their level. Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says what means in the Quran, "Hold to forgiveness; command what is right; but turn away from the ignorant". He subhanahu wa ta'ala also says what means, "And when they hear vain talk, they turn away therefrom and say: 'To us our deeds, and to you yours; peace be to you: we seek not the ignorant.' It is true thou wilt not be able to guide every one whom thou lovest; but Allah guides those whom He will and He knows best those who receive guidance." Don't waste your time or energy with those who refuse to listen.
- Use proper functions. Go to interfaith programs and open discussions.
- Stay away from missionaries. This cannot be emphasized enough. Their goal is to take your faith apart and cause you to doubt. Leave the missionaries to those who are trained to deal with them. Missionaries have been trained to seem friendly and willing to learn on the outside, when their sole goal and objective is to cause you to reject Islam. Do not talk to missionaries. Do not open a discussion of Islam with them. Do not visit their sites. Do not waste your time with them. Your time can be used in a much more beneficial way than trying to argue with someone who has been trained to cause you to doubt.
- Don't insult the other person's faith. No matter how tempting it would be to talk about the errors and inconsistancies in other people's beliefs, don't do it. It offends people, and will possibly give them a bad impression of Islam. Talk about how Islam is different, and in that perhaps exposing the other belief's errors, but do not openly insult another person's faith. Be respectful. A daawah horror story: a Muslim was speaking at a local high school, and began his speech with: "You're all going to Hell." With that, he lost his whole audience before he even started his speech.
- Discuss what makes Islam beautiful to you. Daawah doesn't have to mean repeating the five pillars. Sometimes we are so busy discussing the pillars of Islam we forget the actual building itself. Islam plays a part in every aspect of our lives. Talk about how it plays a role in how you sleep, how you dress, how you speak, how you marry, how you deal with animals, parents, elders, children, the opposite sex. Talk about Islam's respect for women, the concepts of purity or modesty, it's call to reflect and think about the world around us. I know that one brother became Muslim in part because of Islam's respect and honor for nature. Islam is a deen, a whole way of life. Go into more detail then the 9th grade social studies text book.
And lastly, have sabr. Your job is not to convert people - it is not an obligation in Islam to make a certain amount of people Muslim. But it is your obligation to call people to Islam, to distinguish between right and wrong. Who is guided and who is not, however, is solely up to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
And Allah, the Guide, knows best.
- Know what you're talking about. Make sure you have a sound, deep knowledge of what you say. Remember that Rasulullah, may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, promised a seat in the Hell fire for whoever says a lie about him. Make sure what you say is absolutely correct. Be honest if you don't know. If you do not have a solid knowledge of what you are saying, your contribution may be negative instead of positive.
- Have complete faith in what you're saying with no doubt. It is said that what comes from the mouth goes to the ear, but what comes from the heart goes to the heart. The Arabic saying goes, if you do not have it, you cannot give it. If you don't truly believe something, you can't get someone else to. Your sincerity and certainty in your faith plays a large part in your successfulness at daawah.
- Practice what you preach. The best daawah is by way of example. Don't discuss the importance of truth and honesty in Islam when you lie and cheat constantly. Make sure your actions express the beautiful beliefs and commands of Islam. Hypocricy turns people away.
- Don't compromise Islam or it's beliefs. Don't feel the need to hedge around the truth because it will turn people away. Can men have four wives? Why can't we date? Why don't we accept homosexuality? Don't be apologetic about certain aspects of Islam. Explain it in a way people can understand, but don't change it or act like it's incorrect or archaic.
- Do not become angry. Don't let people effect you or cause you to change your conduct. Have adab always. If someone refuses to hear you out, walk away. Don't sink to their level. Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says what means in the Quran, "Hold to forgiveness; command what is right; but turn away from the ignorant". He subhanahu wa ta'ala also says what means, "And when they hear vain talk, they turn away therefrom and say: 'To us our deeds, and to you yours; peace be to you: we seek not the ignorant.' It is true thou wilt not be able to guide every one whom thou lovest; but Allah guides those whom He will and He knows best those who receive guidance." Don't waste your time or energy with those who refuse to listen.
- Use proper functions. Go to interfaith programs and open discussions.
- Stay away from missionaries. This cannot be emphasized enough. Their goal is to take your faith apart and cause you to doubt. Leave the missionaries to those who are trained to deal with them. Missionaries have been trained to seem friendly and willing to learn on the outside, when their sole goal and objective is to cause you to reject Islam. Do not talk to missionaries. Do not open a discussion of Islam with them. Do not visit their sites. Do not waste your time with them. Your time can be used in a much more beneficial way than trying to argue with someone who has been trained to cause you to doubt.
- Don't insult the other person's faith. No matter how tempting it would be to talk about the errors and inconsistancies in other people's beliefs, don't do it. It offends people, and will possibly give them a bad impression of Islam. Talk about how Islam is different, and in that perhaps exposing the other belief's errors, but do not openly insult another person's faith. Be respectful. A daawah horror story: a Muslim was speaking at a local high school, and began his speech with: "You're all going to Hell." With that, he lost his whole audience before he even started his speech.
- Discuss what makes Islam beautiful to you. Daawah doesn't have to mean repeating the five pillars. Sometimes we are so busy discussing the pillars of Islam we forget the actual building itself. Islam plays a part in every aspect of our lives. Talk about how it plays a role in how you sleep, how you dress, how you speak, how you marry, how you deal with animals, parents, elders, children, the opposite sex. Talk about Islam's respect for women, the concepts of purity or modesty, it's call to reflect and think about the world around us. I know that one brother became Muslim in part because of Islam's respect and honor for nature. Islam is a deen, a whole way of life. Go into more detail then the 9th grade social studies text book.
And lastly, have sabr. Your job is not to convert people - it is not an obligation in Islam to make a certain amount of people Muslim. But it is your obligation to call people to Islam, to distinguish between right and wrong. Who is guided and who is not, however, is solely up to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
And Allah, the Guide, knows best.
To Befriend or Not to Befriend? THAT is the Question!
The Prophet peace be upon him said: “A person is on the path of his intimate friend, so let each of you look carefully at whom he takes as an intimate friend.”
What is the real meaning of a friend? I’m sure if we ask ourselves this question, not many of us will be able to answer it the correct way. Most people view friends as people who keep your secrets, someone to talk to on the phone, someone you trust, someone whom you can have fun and hang out with. But this kind of friendship is not even close to the kind of friendship mentioned in the Quran.
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says: “And the believing men and the believing women are protecting friends to one another. THEY COMMAND WHAT IS RIGHT AND FORBID WHAT IS WRONG AND THEY ESTABLISH THE SALAH AND PRODUCE THE ZAKAH AND THEY OBEY ALLAH AND HIS MESSENGER.” (9:71)
Now what more of a friend do you want than that? Subhan'Allah. The kind of friendship we had in mind is nothing like the friendship Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala wants. “...They command what is right and forbid what is wrong..” Who from our friends do we find doing this? Any? If not few… The kind of friendship I see people having is actually quite the opposite. I see people laugh at the wrong, and ignore what is right.
Rarely if not never, have I seen a friend tell another friend. “Sister/Brother fear Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala for what you are doing is haram.” Just how much do our friends affect us? Here is a hadith to find out…
The Prophet peace be upon him said: “The example of a good friend and a bad friend is like the seller of Musk (perfume) and the blacksmith. If you go to the seller of perfume, you will either leave (happy) buying perfume, or you will leave will the smell of the musk. And If you stand by the blacksmith you will burn your clothes, or you will leave with the *smell of* the stink of his work.”
So when you are with the good friend you will learn from him, or some of his goodness will rub off on you. *leaving you relaxed* While when you are with the bad friend, you will be like him, or you will leave with some of his bad habits. Sadly, we are missing out on the true friendship. But that’s not even the worst part; the worse thing is that most Muslims would rather have the company of non Muslims instead of their brother/sister in Islam. Nevertheless Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala’s advice that we should prefer people of like mind to ourselves over non believers is crystal clear:
“Let not the believers take the unbelievers as Auliya (supporters, friends, helpers) instead of the believers, and whoever does that will never be helped by Allah in any way, except if you indeed fear a danger from them.” (3:28)
May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala guide us all.
So as for the believing men and woman who command each other with good, and forbid the bad, they will have a great reward in the hereafter, and they will be thanking each other in Jannah, insha'Allah. But as for the men and woman, whose friendship is only based on worldly matters, those so-called friends who laugh and encourage each other when they do wrong, and take faith as a joke, for them is a painful torment.
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala warns the Muslims against such friendships… "On the day when the wrongdoer will bite upon his hands (from regret), he will say, ‘O would that I had taken a path with the Messenger, O Woe to me! Would that I had never taken so-and-so as an intimate friend; he certainly lead me astray from the remembrance after it had come to me and Shaytan (Satan) is to man ever a deserter in the hour of need" (25:27-30)
Subhan Allah, they will be the best of friends in this world, but in the hereafter they will be the worst of enemies to each other. In the hellfire, one will call to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and say "Oh Allah, this person (the friend from the world) took me by my hand to the haram, Ya Allah… Ya Allah… Double his punishment! And curse him with a mighty curse! Subhan Allah!! How painful the hellfire, and yet that person is still wishing it to be worse for his friend (from the world). But then Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala will double BOTH their punishments…
Subhan Allah, see these ‘friends’ they weren’t really friends in the world, and as you can see they won’t be friends in the hereafter. Now it is your turn to decide, you can either command your friends with the good, and forbid the evil, which may not be very easy, but your friend will thank you for it in Jannah, or would you rather be from those who bite their hands from regret….Be careful when choosing your friends…
What is the real meaning of a friend? I’m sure if we ask ourselves this question, not many of us will be able to answer it the correct way. Most people view friends as people who keep your secrets, someone to talk to on the phone, someone you trust, someone whom you can have fun and hang out with. But this kind of friendship is not even close to the kind of friendship mentioned in the Quran.
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says: “And the believing men and the believing women are protecting friends to one another. THEY COMMAND WHAT IS RIGHT AND FORBID WHAT IS WRONG AND THEY ESTABLISH THE SALAH AND PRODUCE THE ZAKAH AND THEY OBEY ALLAH AND HIS MESSENGER.” (9:71)
Now what more of a friend do you want than that? Subhan'Allah. The kind of friendship we had in mind is nothing like the friendship Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala wants. “...They command what is right and forbid what is wrong..” Who from our friends do we find doing this? Any? If not few… The kind of friendship I see people having is actually quite the opposite. I see people laugh at the wrong, and ignore what is right.
Rarely if not never, have I seen a friend tell another friend. “Sister/Brother fear Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala for what you are doing is haram.” Just how much do our friends affect us? Here is a hadith to find out…
The Prophet peace be upon him said: “The example of a good friend and a bad friend is like the seller of Musk (perfume) and the blacksmith. If you go to the seller of perfume, you will either leave (happy) buying perfume, or you will leave will the smell of the musk. And If you stand by the blacksmith you will burn your clothes, or you will leave with the *smell of* the stink of his work.”
So when you are with the good friend you will learn from him, or some of his goodness will rub off on you. *leaving you relaxed* While when you are with the bad friend, you will be like him, or you will leave with some of his bad habits. Sadly, we are missing out on the true friendship. But that’s not even the worst part; the worse thing is that most Muslims would rather have the company of non Muslims instead of their brother/sister in Islam. Nevertheless Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala’s advice that we should prefer people of like mind to ourselves over non believers is crystal clear:
“Let not the believers take the unbelievers as Auliya (supporters, friends, helpers) instead of the believers, and whoever does that will never be helped by Allah in any way, except if you indeed fear a danger from them.” (3:28)
May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala guide us all.
So as for the believing men and woman who command each other with good, and forbid the bad, they will have a great reward in the hereafter, and they will be thanking each other in Jannah, insha'Allah. But as for the men and woman, whose friendship is only based on worldly matters, those so-called friends who laugh and encourage each other when they do wrong, and take faith as a joke, for them is a painful torment.
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala warns the Muslims against such friendships… "On the day when the wrongdoer will bite upon his hands (from regret), he will say, ‘O would that I had taken a path with the Messenger, O Woe to me! Would that I had never taken so-and-so as an intimate friend; he certainly lead me astray from the remembrance after it had come to me and Shaytan (Satan) is to man ever a deserter in the hour of need" (25:27-30)
Subhan Allah, they will be the best of friends in this world, but in the hereafter they will be the worst of enemies to each other. In the hellfire, one will call to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and say "Oh Allah, this person (the friend from the world) took me by my hand to the haram, Ya Allah… Ya Allah… Double his punishment! And curse him with a mighty curse! Subhan Allah!! How painful the hellfire, and yet that person is still wishing it to be worse for his friend (from the world). But then Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala will double BOTH their punishments…
Subhan Allah, see these ‘friends’ they weren’t really friends in the world, and as you can see they won’t be friends in the hereafter. Now it is your turn to decide, you can either command your friends with the good, and forbid the evil, which may not be very easy, but your friend will thank you for it in Jannah, or would you rather be from those who bite their hands from regret….Be careful when choosing your friends…
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