Tuesday 24 January 2012

Should she cut off her ties with her adopted brother who has left Islam (is an apostate)?

My friends brother is adopted. He was not breastfed by her mother. Her mother got him when he was 3 months old from an adoption agency. There are no blood ties between them. She is muslim, he is muslim but he reverts back to the kuffar way of life. If he backbites her and he tells lies about her to other people, Can she cut ties off with him since he is adopted and there is no blood between them from the mother or father or anybody else? DOEs she still offer him salaams even though he is a revert

Praise be to Allaah.
This person has no ties to this family, whether through blood or through breastfeeding (radaa’ah). On this basis, if he is a mature and responsible adult, it is not permissible for him to mix with them and look at that which is forbidden. This is the case if he is still Muslim, let alone if he has left Islam.
So it is not permissible for her to shake hands with him, or to be alone with him, or to uncover in front of him, because he is not a mahram. (See also question # 5538). She should not greet him with salaam nor return his greeting so long as he is a murtadd (apostate). We ask Allaah to keep us all safe and sound.

Should she wear hijab in front of her Christian maternal uncle?

My Mother was a christian and she converted 16 years ago, her family is still christian. I for the time being live with them, and my Uncle my Mothers real brother lives with his parents i.e. in the same place as I do. While I mentiones this to some friends they said that I have to wear a Hijab infront of him. I do not agree because he is a Mahram even though he is a christian. Please help me with this.

Praise be to Allaah.  
Your maternal uncle is considered to be a mahram for you, and on this basis it is permissible for you to take off your hijab in front of him. There is no report that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) ordered the Muslim women to observe hijaab in front of their kaafir relatives. 
But the scholars have mentioned that the relative in front of whom the woman takes off her hijab should be trustworthy. This condition applies to both Muslims and kaafirs. 
They mentioned that in the context of women shaking hands with or kissing their relatives. But if her mahram is not trustworthy in the sense that he may describe her to others or be tempted by seeing her, then she should observe hijab in front of him, regardless of whether he is a Muslim or a kaafir. One of the unique opinions [mufridaat] of Imam Ahmad (may Allaah have mercy on him) is that he stated that the mahram who accompanies a Muslim woman when travelling must be a Muslim, but some of his companions did not agree with him on this condition. The reason why he did not allow a kaafir to be a mahram for travel purposes is that he is not trustworthy, especially if he is a Magian. He stated that such a person could not be a mahram for his mother because he thinks that it is permissible to have intercourse with her! One of his companions stated that a Jew or a Christian might sell his mother or kill her! If we look at these reasons we will see that they could be applied to some evildoers among the Muslims, so we can see that this is not a strong argument for the idea that a kaafir cannot be counted as a mahram because of his being a kaafir. But other considerations remain valid, such as his being trustworthy or otherwise.  
This has to with mahrams. In the case of non-mahrams who are kaafirs, there was a difference of opinion among the scholars as to whether it is permissible for a kaafir woman to see a Muslim woman. The most correct opinion is that it is permissible, and the prohibition applies in cases where one cannot be sure that the woman will not describe the Muslim woman to others who are non-mahrams to her, whether that woman is a Muslim or a kaafir. 
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthyameen (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked: 
Is it permissible for a Muslim woman to uncover her hair in front of a non-Muslim woman, especially if she will describe the Muslim woman to men among her relatives who are not Muslim? 
The answer was: 
This issue is based on differences of scholarly opinion concerning the interpretation of the aayah: 
“And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts) and not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent (like both eyes for necessity to see the way, or outer palms of hands or one eye or dress like veil, gloves, headcover, apron), and to draw their veils all over Juyoobihinna (i.e. their bodies, faces, necks and bosoms) and not to reveal their adornment except to their husbands, or their fathers, or their husband’s fathers, or their sons, or their husband’s sons, or their brothers or their brother’s sons, or their sister’s sons, or their women …”
[al-Noor 24:31] 
The scholars differed as to the meaning of the pronoun in the word nisaa’ihinna (their women). Some of them said that what it referred to was the gender, i.e., women in general. Some of them said that what it referred to was a specific type of women, i.e., believing women only. 
According to the first view, it is permissible for a woman to uncover her hair and face in front of a non-Muslim woman, and according to the second opinion it is not permissible. 
We are inclined towards the first view, which is more likely to be correct, because when a woman is with another woman there is no difference between a Muslim woman and a non-Muslim woman. This is the case so long as there is no fitnah or temptation. But if there is the fear of fitnah, such as the risk that she may describe the Muslim woman to her male relatives, then it is essential to take precautions against fitnah in that case, and she should not uncover any part of her body such as her legs or hair in front of another woman, regardless of whether she is Muslim or not. 
And Allaah knows best. 
Fataawa al-Mar’ah al-Muslimah, 1/532, 533 
And Allaah knows best.

Uncovering in front of the husband’s father through radaa’ah

What is the ruling on a woman uncovering her face in front of her husband’s father through radaa’ah (breastfeeding) [i.e., the husband of the woman who breastfed him in infancy]?

Praise be to Allaah.  
It is not permissible for a woman to uncover her face in front of her husband’s father through breastfeeding, according to the correct view which was favoured by Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah, because the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The same people become mahrams through breastfeeding as those who are mahrams through blood ties.” The husband’s father is not a mahram for his son’s wife through blood ties, but he becomes a mahram through the marriage tie, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
 “Forbidden to you (for marriage) are: … the wives of your sons who (spring) from your own loins”
[al-Nisa’ 4:23]
 A son through breastfeeding is not the same as a son from one’s own loins. On this basis, if a woman’s husband has a father through breastfeeding, then she must observe hijaab in front of him and not uncover her face in front of him. If we assume that she were to separate from his son through breastfeeding, it would not be permissible for her to marry him, in order to be on the safe side, because this is the view of the majority of scholars.

His grandfather’s daughter is also his paternal uncle’s wife

Am I classified as a Muhram for the wife of my uncle after being divorced ( she is originally my grand father daughter )
.Jazaka Allahu Khira.

Praise be to Allaah.
Your grandfather’s daughter must necessarily be your maternal aunt (khaalah) or paternal aunt (‘ammah). If she is the daughter of your father’s father, she is your paternal aunt, and if she is the daughter of your mother’s father, then she is your maternal aunt. If she is your aunt, whether the sister of your father or the sister of your mother, then you are a mahram for her, regardless of whether she is married to your uncle or not. It seems from the question that she is the daughter of your maternal grandfather (your mother’s father).

Prohibition of a woman travelling without a mahram, and conditions of a mahram

Assalam O Alikium My mother is planning to go to ummrah inshallah. But she needs a mairram and her husband nor her brothers are able to go. We have asked an alm he said she can go with her brother in-law which is also her first cousin. As long as his wife is there which she will be cause she's going too. Is this permissable in Islam because I still have my doubts. Jazak allah ho karun.

Praise be to Allaah.
One of the ways in which Islam protects women is that it requires a woman to travel with a mahram, to protect her from those who have bad intentions and to help her, because of her weakness, in facing the arduous trials of travelling. A woman is not permitted to travel without a mahram because of the hadeeth narrated by Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him), who reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “A woman should absolutely not travel unless she has a mahram with her.” A man stood up and said, “O Messenger of Allaah, I have enlisted in such-and-such a military campaign, and my wife has set out for Hajj.” He said, “Go and do Hajj with your wife.” (al-Bukhaari, al-Fath, 3006).
What indicates that a mahram is obligatory is the fact that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) commanded this man to give up the idea of jihaad (on this occasion), even though he had enlisted for a campaign and his wife was travelling for the purpose of worship, not for some frivolous or suspicious reason. In spite of all this, he told him to go and do Hajj with his wife.
The ulamaa’ have listed five conditions for a person to be considered a mahram. He should be male, Muslim, adult, and of sound mind, and he should be a relative to whom marriage is permanently forbidden, such as a father, brother, paternal uncle, maternal uncle, father in law, mother’s husband or brother through radaa’ah (breastfeeding), etc. (as opposed to relatives to whom marriage is temporarily forbidden, such as a sister’s husband, paternal aunt’s husband, maternal aunt’s husband).
On this basis, the husband’s brother and the son of a paternal or maternal uncle are not mahrams, so it is not permitted for her to travel with them. And Allaah knows best

Ruling on a man doing ghusl for his mother

Is it permissible for a man to do ghusl for his [deceased] mother?

Praise be to Allaah. 
It is not permissible for a man to do ghusl for his mother, or for a mother to do ghusl for her son. Similarly, it is not permissible for a man to do ghusl for his daughter. A man cannot do ghusl for a woman, even if she is one of his mahrams. (The only exception is that) a wife is permitted to do ghusl for her husband, and a husband is permitted to do ghusl for his wife. Apart from that, a man may only be washed by other men, and a woman may only be washed by other women.
  If a male did not reach the age of seven, then it is permissible for a woman to wash him, and if a girl did not reach the age of seven, it is permissible for a man to wash her. But if the boy or girl was over the age of seven, then men should do ghusl for the boy and women should do ghusl for the girl. The point is that men are not allowed to do ghusl for women and women are not allowed to do ghusl for men, except in the case of husband and wife. And Allaah knows best.

Can she uncover her face before her husband’s father through breastfeeding?

What is the ruling on a woman uncovering her face before her husband’s father through breastfeeding?.

Praise be to Allaah.
It is not permissible for a woman to uncover her face before her husband’s father through breastfeeding according to the more correct view which was favoured by Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The same people become mahrams through breastfeeding as those who are mahrams through blood ties.” The husband’s father is not a mahram through blood ties for his son’s wife, but he becomes a mahram of his son’s wife through the marriage tie, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Forbidden to you (for marriage) are: … the wives of your sons who (spring) from your own loins” [al-Nisa’ 4:23].
A son through breastfeeding is not the same as a son from one’s own loins. On this basis, if a woman’s husband has a father through breastfeeding, then she must observe hijaab in front of him and not uncover her face in front of him. If we assume that she were to separate from his son through breastfeeding, it would not be permissible for her to marry him, in order to be on the safe side, because this is the view of the majority of scholars. End quote.
Shaykh Muhammad ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him).

She has brothers through breastfeeding, but her husband does not acknowledge the rulings on breastfeeding

A woman has brothers through breastfeeding. Her husband tells her not to greet them or talk to them at all justifying this by saying that he denies the breastfeeding brotherhood issue. What is your opinion on this?.

Praise be to Allaah.
If breastfeeding which fulfils the conditions took place, namely five or more feedings within the first two years, then the relationship of mahram is established, and the one who was breastfed becomes a mahram of the one who breastfed him, as do her daughters, mothers and sisters. The brother of a woman through breastfeeding is a mahram to her, and it is not permissible for the husband to deny this relationship of mahram, or to forbid his wife to greet her brother through breastfeeding or to talk to him, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “What becomes mahram (forbidden for marriage) through breastfeeding is that which becomes mahram through blood ties.” 
This applies unless there is the fear of fitnah, such as if that brother through breastfeeding is not righteous and is not to be trusted with matters of honour, and there is fear that he may mistreat his sister through breastfeeding. In that case she should not be allowed to meet him or be alone with him. End quote. 
Shaykh Saalih ibn Fawzaan ibn ‘Abd-Allaah al-Fawzaan (may Allaah preserve him).

Can a woman breastfeed her child in front of her mahrams?

Is it permissible or not for a woman to uncover her breast in front of her mahrams in order to breastfeed her child, if there is no fear of fitnah?.

Praise be to Allaah.
A woman’s ‘awrah before her mahrams such as her father, brother, and brother’s son is her entire body except that which ordinarily appears such as the face, hair, neck, forearms and feet. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“and not to reveal their adornment except to their husbands, or their fathers, or their husband’s fathers, or their sons, or their husband’s sons, or their brothers or their brother’s sons, or their sister’s sons, or their (Muslim) women (i.e. their sisters in Islâm)”
[al-Noor 24:31] 
So Allaah has permitted a woman to show her adornment before her husband and her mahrams. What is meant by adornments is the places where adornments are worn, so the site of the ring is the hand, the site of the bracelet is the forearm, the site of the earring is the ear, the site of the necklace is the neck and chest, and the site of the anklet is the calf. 
Abu Bakr al-Jasaas said in his Tafseer: The apparent meaning indicates that it is permissible to show one’s adornments to the husband and those who are mentioned alongside him, such as the father and others. It is well known that what is meant is the places where adornments are worn, which are the face, hand and forearm. … This implies that it is permissible for those mentioned in the verse to look at these places, which are the sites of concealed adornment, because at the beginning of the verse it states that non-mahrams are allowed only to see the external adornment, and it is permissible for the husband and mahrams to see the hidden adornments. It was narrated from Ibn Mas’ood and al-Zubayr (that it refers to) earrings, necklaces, bracelets and anklets. 
The husband and those who are mentioned alongside him are equal with regard to that. The general meaning indicates that it is permissible for those mentioned to look at the places where adornment is worn, just as it indicates that it is permissible for the husband to do so. Because Allaah mentioned alongside the father other mahrams to whom it is permanently forbidden to marry her, this indicates that those to whom the same prohibition applies come under the same ruling, such as the daughter’s husband, wife’s mother, women who are mahrams due to breastfeeding, and so on. End quote. 
Al-Baghawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: The words of Allaah, “and not to reveal their adornment” mean that they should not uncover their adornments before non-mahrams. What is referred to here is hidden adornments. There are two types of adornment, apparent and hidden. The hidden adornments include things such as the anklets, henna on the feet, bracelets on the wrist, earrings and necklaces. It is not permissible for her to show them or for a non-mahram to look at them. What is meant by adornment is the site where the adornment is worn. End quote. 
It says in Kashshaaf al-Qinaa’ (5/11): A man may look at the face, neck, hand, foot, head and calf of a mahram. Al-Qaadi said, based on this report: It is permissible (to look at) that which ordinarily appears such as the head and hands up to the elbows. End quote. 
These mahrams may vary with regard to closeness and being free of fitnah. Hence a woman may show before her father that which she should not show before her husband’s son. Al-Qurtubi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: Because Allaah mentioned husbands first and then mahrams, and stated that they were equal with regard to showing adornment, but their status varies according to human nature. No doubt uncovering before a father or brother is safer than uncovering before her husband’s son, so they vary in what may be uncovered before them, and one may show to the father what one may not show to the husband’s son. End quote. 
Based on this, the woman must cover her breasts when she wants to breastfeed her son in the presence of any of her mahrams, so she may offer her child the breast beneath a blanket and the like. This is part of modesty and keenness to remain covered. 
For more information please see the answer to question no. 34745. 
And Allaah knows best.
Its the responsibility of every Moslem in learning quran and tajweed and we also must teach our kids Quran and not only the Quran teaching we should let then begin to see the basic of Islam and why it was reviled you bet it was vituperated and verity teaching of holy Quran and with tajweed quran we read Quran we can understand better all the replies that are necessitated if we study koran from a qualified Quran tutor he will let you know truth core of Islam and why koran was reviled for it we should gain the ability of the Good Book with there translation and the context of when those verses were reviled and why and that is only potential when we keep on with not simply learning quran for beginners but gaining the information of Quran tafseer and one inquiry that we all needs to ask our self that why we all are here in the world to do good acts or to do bad acts to promote correct or to promote incorrect and will we be answerable to any one after this life of not then the inquiry remains the exact same that reasons why we are here in the world but if yes then whom we have to reply is there any Divine All these response can be found when we go deep in to the Quran education do Quran reading and the so let us connect hands to full fill our responsibility. We all must do quran memorization and listen to quran online when ever we have time to stay in touch

Do women need to cover in front of a child who is five years old?

I have a plural marriage,and a son (five years old), who is not the biological son of the husband.
Do the other wives have to be fully covered in hijab when this boy is present.
Jazakum Allahu Khair.

Praise be to Allaah.
The boy mentioned is young, and women do not need to cover their faces when he is present. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And say to the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at illegal things) and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.), and not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent (like palms or hands or one eye or both eyes for necessity to see the way, our outer dress like veil, gloves, head-cover, apron, etc.), and to draw their veils all over juyoobihinna (i.e., their bodies, faces, necks and bosoms, etc.), and not to reveal their adornment except to their husbands, their fathers, their husband’s fathers, their sons, their husband’s sons, their brothers or their brother’s sons, or their sister’s sons, or their (Muslim) women (i.e., their sisters in Islam), or the (female) slaves whom their right hands possess, or old male servants who lack vigour, or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex. And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And all of beg Allaah to forgive you all, O believers, that you may be successful.” [al-Noor 24:31]
This little boy is a “small child who has no sense of the shame of sex,” so it is permissible to uncover one's adornment in front of him. Ibn Katheer (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in his Tafseer: “ ‘The words (interpretation of the meaning), or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex refer to children who because of their young age do not understand anything about women or the temptation they may present, such as their soft voices or the way they walk. Because the child is so young, he does not understand anything about that, so there is nothing wrong with letting him enter upon women. But if a boy is approaching puberty and beginning to understand these things and to distinguish between who is beautiful and who is not, then he should not be allowed to enter upon women. And Allaah knows best.

This woman is not your mahram

I would like to know what is my relationship to my brother-in-laws (wife's brother) wife. She calls me brother and I treat her like my sister. Is this allowed in Islam. Please advice.

Praise be to Allaah.  
It is not permissible for you to treat your wife’s brother’s wife as your sister, because she is not one of your mahrams. So it is not permissible for her to appear before you without proper hijab, and it is not permissible for you to be alone with her, or to shake hands with her, or to look at her, or to speak to her except from behind a screen, when there is no fear of fitnah (temptation). Allaah has forbidden the believing women to show their adornment except to specific people. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“…and not to reveal their adornment except to their husbands, or their fathers, or their husband’s fathers, or their sons, or their husband’s sons, or their brothers or their brother’s sons, or their sister’s sons, or their (Muslim) women (i.e. their sisters in Islam), or the (female) slaves whom their right hands possess, or old male servants who lack vigour, or small children who have no sense of feminine sex. And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And all of you beg Allaah to forgive you all, O believers, that you may be successful”
[al-Noor 24:31] 
You are not one of the people mentioned in the aayah, so this ruling does not apply to you. And Allaah knows best. 
See also question no. 5538.

Can a man marry the sister of his son's wife?

Can a man marry the sister of his son's wife?

Praise be to Allaah.
It is haraam for a man to marry the wife of his son as soon as the son does the marriage contract with her, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Forbidden to you (for marriage) are: … the wives of your sons who (spring) from your own loins”
[al-Nisa’ 4:23]. 
He may marry the mother of his son's wife, or her sister or her daughter - from a husband other than his son - because Allaah says, after mentioning the women who are forbidden for marriage, (interpretation of the meaning):
“All others are lawful, provided you seek (them in marriage) with Mahr (bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) from your property, desiring chastity, not committing illegal sexual intercourse”
[al-Nisa’ 4:24]. 
So there is nothing in sharee’ah to prevent the father marrying the sister of his son's wife. 
And Allaah knows best.

The husband of one’s sister’s daughter is not a mahram

With regard to my sister’s daughter’s husband, is it permissible for the to interact with him as I interact with my sister’s sons? What are the boundaries of interacting with him?.

Praise be to Allaah.
The husband of one’s sister’s daughter is not a mahram, rather it is haraam for him to be married to a woman and her paternal or maternal aunt at the same time, because of the report narrated by al-Bukhaari (4821) and Muslim (37) from Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) who said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “It is not permissible to be married to a woman and her paternal or maternal aunt at the same time.” This does not mean that he becomes a mahram to her paternal or maternal aunt, rather he remains a stranger (non-mahram) to them. 
The scholars of the Standing Committee for Issuing Fatwas were asked: 
I have a sister through my mother and father (full sister) and one of her daughters has got married. Is her husband regarded as a mahram to me or not? 
They replied: 
The husband of your sister’s daughter is not regarded as a mahram to you, so it is not permissible for you to shake hands with him or to be alone with him or to travel with him, unlike a mahram. End quote. 
Fataawa al-Lajnah, 17/238 
Based on that, it is not permissible for you to interact with him as you interact with your sister’s sons, because your sister’s sons are mahrams to you, but the husband of your sister’s daughter is not a mahram. 
For more details on who is a woman’s mahram, please see the answer to question no. 5538. 
And Allah knows best.

He is complaining that his wife is too easy-going in her interaction with her cousin

My wife went to visit her relatives and she used to stay up with her cousin until 3 a.m., and they were on their own. On two occasions she took a picture of him when he was sleeping, and on one occasion she kissed him and she was always sitting next to him. His wife was annoyed by this and I am too. I told her that what she did was wrong and that it is not permissible according to Islam, and she is religiously committed. I noticed that her cousin is excessively interested in her and she is more interested in him than is necessary and it is not normal. There have been some problems between us because of this matter. She says that he is like her brother. Please note that she is forty-three and he is thirty-three. Up until now she says that there is nothing wrong with the way she has behaved. When I went to visit them I saw many things that I did not like in their behaviour. Now I am very confused and she is saying: You are the father of my children and he is only my cousin and nothing more. Now we have had a lot of disagreements because of this matter and it could lead to divorce, and we have five children.
I hope you will answer my question: is what she did correct?.

Praise be to Allaah.
Islam has set out guidelines for interactions between a man and a woman who is not his mahram. It enjoins man to lower his gaze, and it forbids being alone with a woman or shaking hands with her. It also enjoins the woman to cover her entire body and forbids her to speak softly. This is what guarantees the purity of society and the soundness of the family, and it closes the door to evil and temptation. You can find the texts that speak of that in the answer to question no. 10744. 
There is no doubt that your wife has overstepped these limits and has committed an action that Allah forbade when she kissed her cousin and by staying up with him when they were on their own, and by not observing hijab in front of him. Even failing to lower her gaze and avoid looking at a man who is not one of her mahrams is – in and of itself – disobedience to the command of Allah addressed to believing men and women to lower their gaze. 
Taking these matters lightly on the grounds that the cousin is like a brother is a grievous mistake. How much trouble this attitude has brought to people! A woman’s cousin is a non-mahram like any other “stranger”; indeed the harm that he may cause may be worse than that caused by others, because people take lightly the matter of interactions with him. The same applies to the relatives of the husband such as his brother and cousin. Hence the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Beware of entering upon women.” An Ansaari man said: O Messenger of Allaah, what about the in-law? He said: “The in-law is death.” 
Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5232) and Muslim (2127). Al-Layth ibn Sa‘d said: The in-law is the brother of the husband and similar relatives of the husband, his cousin and so on. 
Al-Nawawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said in Sharh Muslim: With regard to the Prophet’s words, “The in-law is death,” what this means is that the fear in his case is greater than in the case of others, and evil is expected on his part and the fitnah (temptation) is greater, because he is able to reach the woman and be alone with her with no one denouncing him, unlike the stranger or non-mahram. What is meant by the in-law here is the husband’s relatives, except for his father/grandfather and sons/grandsons.His father/grandfather and sons/grandsons are mahrams of the wife and it is permissible for them to be alone with her; they are not described as “death”. Rather what is meant here is the brother, nephew, uncle, cousin and others who are not mahrams. People customarily take things lightly with regard to them, so a man will often be alone with his brother’s wife. This is what is described as death and it is more important that he be stopped than a stranger, for the reasons we have mentioned above. 
For more information please see the answer to question no. 13261 
Even if the woman does not cover her face in front of her relatives, at least she should refrain from being alone with non-mahrams, softening her voice or shaking hands with them. 
You have to explain to your wife the limits of halaal and haraam concerning this matter, and advise her and her cousin to refrain from this blameworthy leniency, because Allah will ask you about your flock which you are enjoined to guard and protect from the Fire. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“O you who believe! Ward off yourselves and your families against a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones, over which are (appointed) angels stern (and) severe, who disobey not, (from executing) the Commands they receive from Allaah, but do that which they are commanded”
[al-Tahraam 66:6]. 
And the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock. The ruler of the people is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. A man is the shepherd of his household and is responsible for his flock. A woman is the shepherd of her husband’s house and children and is responsible for her flock. The slave is the shepherd of his master’s wealth and is responsible for it. Each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock.” 
Narrated by al-Bukhaari (853) and Muslim (1829). 
And he (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “There is no person whom Allaah puts in charge of others, and when he dies he is insincere to his subjects, but Allaah will forbid Paradise to him.” 
Narrated by al-Bukhaari (6731) and Muslim 9143) 
We hope that your wife will respond to what is enjoined upon her by Islam and will control the way she interacts with her cousin in a way that is pleasing to our Lord, and that she will not provoke her husband’s jealousy, because the wise woman is the one who forgoes what is permissible in order to please her husband, so foregoing what is haraam is even more important. 
May Allah help us all to do that which He loves and which pleases Him. 
And Allah knows best.

If he was breastfed by a woman, does her son become a mahram to his daughter?

My wife’s father was breastfed by his half-sister more than four times, so he is a mahram to her children, because he is her brother and because he was breastfed by her.
My question is: are his children mahrams to her children? 
Can his daughter, who is my wife, shake hands with his sons and uncover her hair in front of them or not?.

Praise be to Allaah.
If the wife’s father was breastfed by his sister and it was five full breastfeedings within the first two years, then he becomes a son to her through breastfeeding, and her children, both males and females, become siblings to him through breastfeeding; they become paternal uncles and aunts to his children through breastfeeding. Thus it is proven that the relationship of mahram exists between them. 
The basic principle concerning that is the verse in which Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Forbidden to you (for marriage) are: your mothers, your daughters, your sisters, your father’s sisters, your mother’s sisters, your brother’s daughters, your sister’s daughters, your foster mothers who gave you suck, your foster milk suckling sisters”
[al-Nisa’ 4:23]. 
So the daughter of a brother through blood ties is a mahram. 
And the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “What becomes mahram (forbidden for marriage) through breastfeeding is that which becomes mahram through blood ties.”
Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 2645; Muslim, 1447.. 
So the daughter of a brother through breastfeeding also becomes a mahram. 
The scholars of the Standing Committee for Issuing Fatwas said: 
The breastfeeding which establishes the relationship of mahram is that which takes place five or more times in the first two years. If the breastfeeding of the two brothers was like this, then they are brothers through breastfeeding and the children of each of them are the children of his brother through breastfeeding. … And it is not permissible for one of them to marry the daughter of the other, because they are his nieces (children of his brother) through breastfeeding. End quote. 
Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah, 21/116 
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked: 
I was breastfed with my maternal uncle by my grandmother – who is his mother. Should my daughters observe hijab in front of him, knowing that I was breastfed more than five times? 
He replied: 
If you were breastfed by your grandmother with five certain breastfeedings, then you became a child to her, and her children are your siblings, both the older and younger ones among them. If they became your brothers, they became paternal uncles to your daughters. Based on that, it is permissible for your daughters to uncover in front of all of their maternal uncles. End quote. 
Liqa’ al-Baab al-Maftooh, 40/8 
Based on that, your wife may shake hands with the sons of this woman and uncover her hair in front of them, because they are her paternal uncles through breastfeeding. 
And Allah knows best.

Is it permissible to marry the daughter of my mother’s maternal uncle?

Is it permissible to marry the daughter of one’s grandfather? For your information, what I mean here by grandfather is the maternal uncle of my mother.
In other words, is it permissible to marry the daughter of my mother's maternal uncle?.

Praise be to Allaah.
It is customary in some societies to call the mother's maternal uncle “grandfather”, but this is not correct in either shar‘i or linguistic terms. The mother's maternal uncle is a maternal uncle to her and all her descendants, and his children are regarded as maternal cousins (awlaad khaal) to the children of that mother. 
For more information, please see the answer to question number 103878. 
Based on that, the daughter of your mother's maternal uncle is regarded as your maternal cousin, and the (female) maternal cousin is not a mahram, so there is nothing wrong with marrying her. Allah, may He be exalted, says:
“O Prophet (Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم)! Verily, We have made lawful to you your wives, to whom you have paid their Mahr (bridal‑money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage), and those (slaves) whom your right hand possesses — whom Allaah has given to you, and the daughters of your ‘Amm (paternal uncles) and the daughters of your ‘Ammaat (paternal aunts) and the daughters of your Khaal (maternal uncles) and the daughters of your Khaalaat (maternal aunts)”
[al-Ahzaab 33:50]. 
Shaykh ‘Abd al-Rahmaan al-Sa‘di (may Allah have mercy on him) said: Allah, may He be exalted, said, telling His Messenger of that which was permissible for him (for marriage) as well as for the believers, “and the daughters of your ‘Amm (paternal uncles) and the daughters of your ‘Ammaat (paternal aunts) and the daughters of your Khaal (maternal uncles) and the daughters of your Khaalaat (maternal aunts)”. This includes (daughters of) paternal uncles and aunts, maternal uncles and aunts, near and far. End quote. 
For more information, please see the answer to question no. 112320. 
And Allah knows best.

Is it permissible for a woman to uncover in front of her husband’s mother’s husband?

My mother in law got re-married recently maa shâ-a Allaah, but this is not the father of my husband, can I take off my niqaab in front of him?.
Praise be to Allaah.
The husband of your mother-in-law (your husband’s mother), who is not your husband’s father, is not one of your mahrams, because there is no reason of ties through blood, marriage or breastfeeding to make him a mahram. Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Forbidden to you (for marriage) are: your mothers, your daughters, your sisters, your father's sisters, your mother's sisters, your brother's daughters, your sister's daughters, your foster mother who gave you suck, your foster milk suckling sisters, your wives' mothers, your step daughters under your guardianship, born of your wives to whom you have gone in - but there is no sin on you if you have not gone in them (to marry their daughters), - the wives of your sons who (spring) from your own loins, and two sisters in wedlock at the same time, except for what has already passed; verily, Allâh is Oft¬Forgiving, Most Merciful.
Also (forbidden are) women already married, except those (slaves) whom your right hands possess. Thus has Allâh ordained for you. All others are lawful”
[al-Nisa’ 4:23, 24]. 
Allah has explained to His slaves the women who are forbidden in marriage. They include: the wife of a man’s son who is his own offspring and not an adopted son, as was the case during the Jaahiliyyah, and not as mentioned in your question. Your husband is not a son to his mother's husband. The man mentioned here is a stranger to you and is not one of your mahrams, so it is not permissible for you to take off niqaab in front of him. 
This is also explained in another verse which describes to a woman her mahrams in front of whom she may take off her khimaar (head cover) or show any of her adornments. Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts) and not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent (like both eyes for necessity to see the way or outer dress like veil, gloves, head-cover, apron, etc.), and to draw their veils all over Juyubihinna (i.e. their bodies, faces, necks and bosoms,) and not to reveal their adornment except to their husbands, or their fathers, or their husband's fathers, or their sons, or their husband's sons, or their brothers or their brother's sons, or their sister's sons, or their (Muslim) women (i.e. their sisters in Islâm), or the (female) slaves whom their right hands possess, or old male servants who lack vigour, or small children who have no sense of the feminine sex. And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And all of you beg Allâh to forgive you all, O believers, that you may be successful”
[al-Noor 24:31]. 
The scholars of the Standing Committee were asked: 
Is it permissible for a woman who is married to a man to show her face in front of his mother's husband and his brother through his mother? 
They replied: It is not permissible for a woman to show her face in front of her husband's mother's husband or to his brother through his mother, because they come under the general meaning of those from whom she is obliged to observe Hijab. End quote. 
And Allah knows best. 
For more information, please see the answer to question no. 5538 and 120041.

Does she have to uphold ties of kinship with her husband’s relatives even after divorce?

I divorced some time ago. I would like to know if my ex-husband children (my nieces and nephews) are still part of my family and if I have to treat them as next of kin. These are the children of my brother in-law and my sister in-law. Am I still obliged to keep the ties of kinship with my sister in-law and brother in-law even though I am not more marry with their brother?.

Praise be to Allaah.
Upholding ties of kinship only has to do with relatives through one’s father and mother, not relatives through marriage. 
Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked: 
I hope you can advise me in detail about upholding ties of kinship. Does it include the relatives of one's wife or husband or not? Who are the arhaam (close relatives)? 
He replied: 
The arhaam are relatives through one's mother and through one's father. So fathers, mothers, grandfathers and grandmothers are arhaam. And one’s children and their children, both male and female, and the children of daughters, are all arhaam. Similarly, brothers and sisters and their children are arhaam; and paternal uncles and aunts, and maternal uncles and aunts, and their children are arhaam. As for the relatives of one's wife, they are in-laws or relatives through marriage, and they are not arhaam. The same applies to the husband’s relatives for the wife – they are relatives through marriage and they are not arhaam. 
End quote from the Shaykh’s website. 
http://www.ibnbaz.org.sa/mat/9326 
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) said: 
Many of the common folk take the word arhaam as referring only to the relatives of the spouse, to such an extent that a man may say these are my arhaam because he is married to one of them. This is a mistake in both linguistic and shar ‘i terms, because the arhaam are relatives through one’s father or through one’s mother. 
As for the relatives of one’s spouse, they are called as-haar (in-laws), not arhaam. Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning): “And it is He Who has created man from water, and has appointed for him kindred by blood (nasaban), and kindred by marriage (sihran)” [al-Furqaan 25:54]. Allah, may He be exalted, has created ties among people by means of these two things: kindred by blood and kindred by marriage. End quote. 
Fataawa Noor ‘ala al-Darb by Ibn ‘Uthaymeen, 11/6. 
But that does not mean that there should not be good interactions among people, with ties, friendship and visits, even if there are no ties of blood or marriage among them. 
So there is nothing wrong with continuing good relationships among people who were related by marriage, even after divorce, this in fact is part of a good attitude and good character, because the Muslims is the brother of his fellow Muslim. 
But it is essential to point out the importance of adhering to proper shar‘i hijaab in front of adolescent male children. It says in al-Mawsoo‘ah al-Fiqhiyyah (17/7): 
It is obligatory on the woman to observe hijab in front of adolescents who can tell what is ‘awrah and what is not. This is a general rule. If the child is a minor and cannot tell what is ‘awrah and what is not, then there is nothing wrong with showing one’s adornment in front of him, because Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning): “and not to reveal their adornment except to their husbands, …, or small children who have no sense of the feminine sex.” [al-Noor 24:31]. 
End quote. 
The boy in front of whom hijab does not have to be observed is the one who has no knowledge of or interest in matters having to do with women. This varies from one child to another. End quote. 
Fataawa Noor ‘ala al-Darb by Ibn ‘Uthaymeen, 11/500 
And Allah knows best.

Ruling on a man kissing his adult daughter and hugging her

I want to ask: is it permissible for a father to hug or embrace his daughter who has reached the age of twenty-three years. What I mean by embracing and hugging is not sitting in his lap.
I swear by Allah that I did not remember my father ever hugging me and I am in a psychological state that no one knows except Allah.

Praise be to Allaah.
For a man to embrace and hug his daughter, or kiss her on the head or cheek or between the eyes by way of showing compassion, kindness and love is permissible, even if she is an adult, on condition that there be no fear of fitnah or provocation of desire. Excluded from that is kissing on the mouth, which is only for spouses, and which usually provokes desire. 
Imam Ahmad (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked: Can a man kiss a woman who is his mahram? He said: If he has come home from a journey and does not fear (temptation) for himself. 
Ibn Muflih said: But he should never do that on the mouth, only on the forehead or head.
End quote from al-Adaab al-Shar‘iyyah, 2/256. See also al-Iqnaa‘, 3/156; al-Mawsoo‘ah al-Fiqhiyyah, 13/130 
Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked: 
Is it permissible for a man to kiss his daughter when she has grown up and passed the age of puberty, whether she is married or not, and whether the kissing is on her hand or mouth or so on? If she kisses him in those places, what is the ruling? 
He replied (may Allah have mercy on him): 
There is nothing wrong with a man kissing his daughter, whether she is older or younger, without desire so long as that is on her cheek once she has grown up, because it is proven from Abu Bakr (may Allah be pleased with him) that he kissed his daughter ‘Aa’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) on her cheek. And because kissing on the mouth may lead to provocation of sexual desire, so it is better and safer not to do that. Similarly, a daughter may kiss her father on his nose or head, without desire. But if there is desire then that is haraam for all concerned, so as to avoid temptation and so as to block means that may lead to immorality. And Allah is the source of strength.
End quote from Fataawa Islamiyyah, 3/78, 79. 
Secondly: 
Embracing sons and daughters when they are small, hugging them, smelling them and kissing them are all part of the compassions and warmth that people should give in abundance to their children and not deprive them of it, because it is compassion that Allah has created in the hearts of His slaves, and Allah only shows mercy to those of His slaves who are merciful. 
We advise fathers and mothers not to deprive them of this parental gesture, because it is a basic psychological need, especially in small children, as is proven in all psychological and educational studies, both contemporary and classical. 
It is proven in Saheeh al-Bukhaari (5997) that Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) kissed al-Hasan ibn ‘Ali, when al-Aqra‘ ibn Haabis al-Tameemi was sitting with him. al-Aqra‘ said: I have ten children and I have never kissed one of them. The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) looked at him, then he said: “The one who does not show mercy will not be shown mercy.” 
In Saheeh al-Bukhaari (3704) it also says: al-Bara’ entered with Abu Bakr upon his family -- after he reached Madinah as a migrant. ‘Aa’ishah was lying down as she was suffering a fever. I [al-Bara’] saw her father kiss her cheek and say: How are you, O my daughter? 
And Allah knows best.

The wife’s grandmother is a mahram to the husband

Is my wife’s paternal grandmother a mahram, i.e., can she uncover her face in front of me?.

Praise be to Allaah.
The wife’s grandmother – either paternal or maternal – becomes a mahram to the husband once the marriage contract is done, because she is included in the verse in which Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“your wives’ mothers”
[al-Nisa’ 4:23]. 
Thus the mothers, grandmothers and great-grandmothers of the wife, no matter how far the line of ascent reaches, are mahrams to the husband. 
It says in Zaad al-Mustaqni‘: His wife’s mother and her grandmothers become mahrams once the marriage contract is done.
See al-Sharh al-Mumti‘, 12/118 
It says in al-Mawsoo‘ah al-Fiqhiyyah al-Kuwaitiyyah, 15/121: 
The fuqaha’ are unanimously agreed that it is haraam to marry grandmothers in all cases, whether they are through the mother or through the father, no matter how far the line of ascent reaches, and that is because Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Forbidden to you (for marriage) are: your mothers” [al-Nisa’ 4:23]. Mothers are all those to whom one is attributed through birth, whether they are called mothers in the real sense or metaphorically – i.e., the one who gave birth to you or the one who gave birth to the one who gave birth to you – no matter how far the line of ascent reaches, and whether they are heirs or not. End quote. 
Based on that: she may uncover her face in front of you. 
And Allah knows best.

Friday 20 January 2012

Mentioning husband’s or wife’s name in front of people

In many cultures a person is refered to as father of so and so or mother of so and so.  Also generally women do not call their husband by name but refer to them as father of their eldest child's name.  Is there evidence in the quran and sunnah for such a thing and if not, how do this practice start? 
Is it islamically wrong for a woman to call her husband by his name or for a man to call his wife by her name when mentioning him/her?

Praise be to Allaah. 
Firstly: 
Yes, it was proven that some of the Sahaabiyaat (female Sahaabah) mentioned their husband by their kunyahs (“father of So and so”). Examples of that include the following. 
It was narrated that ‘Awn Abu Juhayfah said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) established the bond of brotherhood between Salman and Abu’l-Dardaa’. Salmaan went to visit Abu’l-Dardaa’ and he saw Umm al-Dardaa’ looking unkempt. He said to her, “What is the matter with you?” She said, “Your brother Abu’l-Dardaa’ has no interest in this world.” Then Abu’l-Dardaa’ came (to visit Salmaan) and he made food for him, but he said, “I am fasting.” He said, “I will not eat until you eat.” So he ate. When night came, Abu’l-Dardaa’ went to stand in prayer. [Salmaan] said to him, “Go to sleep.” He slept a while, then he went to stand in prayer. [Salmaan] said to him, “Go to sleep.” When the end of the night came, Salmaan said to him, “Now get up.” They prayed, then Salmaan said “Your Lord has rights over you, your own self has rights over you and your family has rights over you. Give each one who has rights over you his rights.” [Abu’l-Dardaa’] came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)  and told him about that, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)  said, “Salmaan spoke the truth.”
(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1832) 
It was narrated that Faatimah bint Qays said: My husband Abu ‘Amr ibn Hafs ibn al-Mugheerah ‘Ayyaash ibn Rabee’ah sent word to me, divorcing me, and he sent with it five wasa’ of dates and five wasa’ of barley. I said, “Do I have no maintenance apart from this, and should I not spend my ‘iddah in your house?” He said, “No.” I got dressed and went to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) . He said, “How many times has he divorced you (talaaq)?” I said, “Three.” He said, “He was right when he said that he does not have to spend on your maintenance.”
(Narrated by Muslim, 2721) 
 Secondly: 
With regard to a woman mentioning her husband by name, there is nothing wrong with that. For example: 
It was narrated that Zaynab, the wife of ‘Abd-Allaah (i.e., ibn Mas’ood) said: I was in the mosque and I saw the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). He said, “Give in charity, even if it is from your jewellery.” Zaynab used to spend on ‘Abd-Allaah and on the orphans under her care. She said to ‘Abd-Allaah, “Ask the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) whether it is enough charity for me to spend on you and on the orphans under my care.” He said, “You go and ask the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him).” So she went to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and found a woman from among the Ansaar at the door, with a similar question. [Zaynab said:] Bilaal passed by us and we said, “Ask the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) whether it is charity enough for me to spend on my husband and the orphans under my care. But do not tell him who we are.” He went in and asked him. (The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)) asked, “Who is it?” He said, “Zaynab”. He asked, “Which Zaynab?” He said, “The wife of ‘Abd-Allaah.” (The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)) said, “Yes, she will have two rewards, the reward of upholding the ties of kinship and the reward of charity.”
(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1373; Muslim, 1667) 
It was narrated that Khuwaylah bint Maalik ibn Tha’labah said: “My husband Aws ibn al-Saamit divorced me by zihaar [saying “you are to me as my mother’s back”], so I came and complained to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) argued with me on his behalf and said, “Fear Allaah, for he is your cousin (son of your paternal uncle).” I did not leave before Allaah revealed the words (interpretation of the meaning): 
‘Indeed Allaah has heard the statement of her (Khawlah bint Tha‘labah) that disputes with you (O Muhammad) concerning her husband (Aus bin As‑Saamit),’
[al-Mujaadilah 58:1]
(Narrated by Abu Dawood, 1893; classed as saheeh by Ibn Hibbaan and al-Haakim. See Khalaasat al-Badr al-Muneer, 2/229) 
Thirdly: 
With regard to saying one’s husband’s or wife’s name in front of other people, that depends on local custom (‘urf) of the people in any given society. In some societies, doing that is disliked, and in some societies it may even be seen as a lack of gheerah (protective jealousy). In the hadeeth of Ibn Mas’ood mentioned above, Bilaal (may Allaah be pleased with him) mentioned the wife of Ibn Mas’ood by name (Zaynab). If a woman is well known by her name and it is OK for people other than her husband to mention her by name, then how about her husband? 
It is preferable to mention people by their kunyah rather than their names in some societies, or in front of some people. Many problems arise from taking the matter of mentioning people’s names lightly. 
And Allaah is the Source of strength.

Wife disposing of her own money without her husband’s knowledge

My sister works in Saudi and wants to invest part of her salary in a project on the basis that this money is my money and she will give me the profits whilst the capital remains hers, on the basis that I will lend her this money and she will invest it, but without her husband’s knowledge. Is she or am I doing anything haraam? Please advise us.

Praise be to Allaah.  
There is no sin on your sister if she gives you money as a loan for you to invest and benefit from the results on the basis that the capital will remain your sister’s. But if your sister wants to share the profit with you whilst she is keeping the capital as is, that is not permitted, because this comes under the heading of “every loan that brings benefits is riba.” It is not necessary for her husband to know about your giving her the money, because the money is her own and he has no right to any part of it unless she gives it willingly. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“And give to the women (whom you marry) their Mahr (obligatory bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) with a good heart; but if they, of their own good pleasure, remit any part of it to you, take it, and enjoy it without fear of any harm (as Allaah has made it lawful)”
[al-Nisa’ 4:4] 
But by way of kind treatment and because men are more experienced and kanowledgeable in matters of business, our advice is that the husband should be told about what his wife is doing and how she is disposing of her wealth. 
Shaykh ‘Abd-Allaah al-Jibreen said: 
The wife owns her wealth and she has the right to dispose of it. She may give it as gifts, give it in charity, pay off her debts, give up her rights to money that she is owed or give up her right to inheritance to whomever she wants, whether relatives or others. Her husband has no right to object if she is mature and of sound mind. Her husband does not have the right to dispose of any of her wealth except with her consent. (Fataawa al-Mar’ah al-Muslimah, 2/674).
 And Allaah knows best.

Her husband is not satisfying her sexual desire

I know that I am supposed to go to him when he calls me to his room, even if I'm not in the apropriate mood. I also know that lying is a despicable thing, but pleasing my husband is utmost on my mind. So is it wrong of me to fake having a sexual climax with my husband? This is a terrible problem for me, because I don't want to lie, but it embarasses my husband if he cannot fulfill my pleasure. This pretending is hard to stop, and also extremely embarassing for me to admit to my husband. Please help me, and also remember me in your du'ahs.

Praise be to Allaah.  
We ask Allaah to reward you with good for your patience and for fulfilling your husband’s desires in obedience to the command of your Lord. 
The solution to the problem you mention is by speaking frankly. That does not mean embarrassing your husband or accusing him of being inconsiderate. This problem often stems from the fact that the husband is not aware that there is a problem at all, not from the fact that he is inconsiderate. The husband may go ahead and have intercourse and not pay attention to some things that he should be doing, one of which is fulfilling his wife’s needs. Perhaps you could benefit by reading some books on the topic which explain the basis of the relationship and intimacy between a man and a woman such as Tuhfat al-‘Aroos by Mahmood Mahdi Istanbuli. 
The point is that there is nothing wrong with speaking to your husband about this matter, and suggesting that he read about it. Speaking frankly is preferable to suffering in this manner, and the problem can be solved easily. 
This does not excuse the woman from sharing some of the responsibility. She also has things that she must do, such as adorning herself for her husband, being loving towards him and encouraging him to be intimate with her.  
We ask Allaah to set the Muslims’ affairs straight. 
And Allaah knows best.

Its the responsibility of every Moslem in learning quran and tajweed and we also must teach our kids Quran and not only the Quran teaching we should let then be aware of the basic of Islam and why it was reviled you bet it was railed and truth teaching of holy Quran and with tajweed quran we read Quran we can understand better all the responses that are called for if we study koran from a qualified Quran tutor he will let you know verity heart of Islam and why koran was reviled for it we should gain the information of the Holy Writ with there translation and the context of when those verses were reviled and why and that is only potential when we keep on with not simply learning quran for beginners but gaining the ability of Quran tafseer and one enquiry that we all is needed to ask our self that why we all are here in the world to do good acts or to do bad human activity to promote correct or to promote incorrect and will we be answerable to any one after this life of not then the inquiry remains the exact that reasons why we are here in the world but if yes then whom we have to respond is there any God Almighty All these response exist when we go deep in to the Quran education do Quran reading and the so let us connect hands to full fill our task. We all must do quran memorization and listen to quran online when ever we have time to stay in touch