Wednesday, 10 August 2011

I want my relationship with my husband to go back to the way it was


I have a problem and only my Lord knows how bad it is. My problem is that my husband treats me badly and betrays me and does not acknowledge his Lord. This complete change happened three years ago and I have been putting up with it for so long for the sake of my children and in the hope that he would change. I used to think that his mother was influencing him, because his mother used to criticize me all the time behind my back even though I treated her well and respected her and took care of her. But she used to feel jealous of my husband’s love for me, and I felt that, even though in front of me she pretended to show love because I used to treat her well. This happened three years ago when she stayed with us in our house for five months after her husband passed away, and she left us after we traveled abroad for work. Since that time I have been suffering terribly. 

My husband is no longer the husband that I know. I hope that you can help me, because I do not know what to do any more to bring him back to the way he was before. My sister is certain that he has been bewitched and is not in his right mind. Is this possible? And if it is then what can I do? I hope that you can advise me, because I do not want to get divorced or to turn to charlatans. My sister told me that there is a man of religion who treats people by means of Qur’aan, and she asked me to give her my picture and a picture of my husband. But I was afraid that this might incur the wrath of Allaah. Is that permissible? What should I do in this situation? I hope that you will help me, because I am in a difficult situation. I hope that you will answer me quickly. I am turning to you – after Allaah – in the hope that my Lord will show me a way out. May Allaah relieve you of all difficulty and may Allaah reward you with all good.

Praise be to Allaah.


You should note that by His wisdom, Allaah tests His slaves
with good and evil, to show who among them will obey Him in all
circumstances and who will only obey Him in some circumstances. Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning): 

“Who has created death and life that He may test you which
of you is best in deed. And He is the All-Mighty, the Oft-Forgiving”

[al-Mulk 67:2] 

“and We shall make a trial of you with evil and with good.
And to Us you will be returned”

[al-Anbiya’ 21:35] 

One of the kinds of tests is that Allaah may test one spouse
with bad treatment on the part of the other, for whatever reason. Based on
this, if what you have mentioned is correct and your husband has been
bewitched or affected by strong hasad (envy) – for witchcraft and the evil
eye do have an effect, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) said, “The evil eye is real” (narrated by al-Bukhaari, no. 5408;
Muslim, 2187) – then you have to do the following: 

1 – Remember Allaah a great deal (dhikr) and pray for
forgiveness. Ask Allaah to heal your husband and to make him be as he used
to be. Nothing can alter the divine decree except du’aa’.  

2 – Think about yourself and the way you treat your husband.
It may be that you have changed in the way you treat him, without realizing.
Be the best wife you can to him, and the best help, after Allaah. Stand be
his side during this trial and be his support, after Allaah. 

3 – Do not go to that so-called man of religion, for he is
asking for your picture in order to practice trickery. See question no.

4 – There is nothing wrong with you going with your husband
to a trustworthy shaykh, who treats people by means of the Qur’aan and
du’aa’s prescribed by the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him). You could also recite Qur’aan over some water and you and your
husband drink from it, and you could recite ruqyah over him every day, and
recite Soorat al-Baqarah in the house. For more information on the ways of
undoing the effects of witchcraft please see the following questions:
20954. For
information on protection against witchcraft, please see questions no.
2662 and
22816. For
information on various kinds of witchcraft please see questions no.

5 – Assuming that what has happened to your husband is not
witchcraft or hasad (envy), then sit with him and discuss things frankly.
Tell him what you feel, and agree to go back to the way things were. 

6 – You can ask some people – especially trustworthy
relatives - to intervene and seek a solution to this problem, and to look
into its causes and try to find a way of resolving it. 

Finally, we advise you to weigh up your husband’s good points
and bad points, and do not forget his good qualities and his kind treatment
of you, because that will motivate you to try to bring him back to the right
path in his religion and in his relationship with his Lord, first of all,
then in his relationship with you. 

May Allaah make things easy for you, and make your husband happy with your obedience and make you happy with his good treatment. And Allaah knows best.

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