A young man is complaining that his father does not wake him up for Fajr prayer; what should he do?

 

My father does not wake me up for Fajr prayer and I have reached the age of puberty. What should I do?.

Praise be to Allaah. 

Firstly: 

First of all we would like to congratulate you on this
keenness to perform Fajr prayer in the mosque and we ask Allah, may He be
glorified and exalted, to make you steadfast and increase you in guidance
and righteousness. 

Secondly: 

The parents should encourage their children -- males and
females -- to pray regularly on time, because the father is the shepherd of
his household and is responsible for his flock, and the mother is also a
shepherd and is responsible for her flock. 

See the answer to question number
103420 

Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have
mercy on him) was asked: 

Is it permissible for a man to go out to pray when his
children are in the house? 

He replied: 

A man is obliged to obey the command of Allah in the verse in
which He says (interpretation of the meaning): “O you who believe! Ward
off yourselves and your families against a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and
stones, over which are (appointed) angels stern (and) severe, who disobey
not, (from executing) the Commands they receive from Allaah, but do that
which they are commanded” [al-Tahreem 66:6]. He must tell his family to
pray as the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) enjoined when
he said: “Tell your children to pray when they are seven years old and smack
them if they do not do it when they are ten, and separate them in their
beds.” And Allah, may He be exalted, tells us that Ismaa’eel, the father of
the Arabs (interpretation of the meaning): “used to
enjoin on his family and his people As‑Salaah (the prayers) and the Zakaah,
and his Lord was pleased with him” [Maryam 19:55]. 

It is not permissible for him -- the father -- to leave his
children sleeping without waking them up to pray and following up on them.
It is not sufficient just to wake them up; rather it is essential to follow
up, because he may wake them up, then they go back to sleep. End quote. 

Fataawa Islamiyyah, 4/215 

The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him)
praised the young man who grows up worshipping Allah. It was narrated from
Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (blessings and
peace of Allah be upon him) said: “There are seven whom Allaah will shade
with His shade on the Day when there will be no shade but His,” a young man
who grows up worshipping Allaah, and among them he mentioned: “a young man
who grows up worshipping his Lord”.

Narrated by al-Bukhaari (629) and Muslim (1031). 

One of the most important means of helping a young person to
grow up worshipping his Lord is for his parents to take charge of his
upbringing and make him get used to that from a young age, and encourage him
to do it continually. 

Congratulations to the parents for such a son who is upset
that his father does not wake him up to offer Fajr prayer. How many fathers
there are who would be prepared to give everything they own in order for
their sons to be righteous and adhere to obedience towards Allah. It grieves
us that some parents show no interest in encouraging their children to pray
on time or to pray in congregation in the mosque. 

Thirdly: 

If your father gets up to pray on time and prays in
congregation in the mosque, then the matter is simple, in sha Allah. You can
ask him to wake you up to pray and to take you with him, and you can talk to
him about the matter calmly. 

But if he does not pray and he leaves you sleeping because he
feels sorry for you, this is undoubtedly a kind of pity that is
inappropriate, and you have to take means of waking up for prayer, such as
going to sleep early, setting the alarm clock, making your intention sincere
and asking those among your family who wake up to pray to wake you up, or
you can request a reminder phone call from some of your friends, and other
means that will help you to wake up to pray on time. 

It is a good idea to ask the neighbourhood imam to talk about
this matter in a special lesson in the mosque or in a Friday khutbah, so
that your father can hear the Islamic ruling about what he is doing and can
be alerted to the importance of telling his children and family to pray, and
that this is a duty upon him about which he will be asked before Allah, may
He be exalted. 

We ask Allah, may He be exalted, to increase His bounty and
guidance upon you and to open your father's heart to waking you for prayer,
and to make you and your family all among those who pray regularly. 

And Allah knows best.

 

 

A young man is complaining that his father does not wake him up for Fajr prayer; what should he do?

 

My father does not wake me up for Fajr prayer and I have reached the age of puberty. What should I do?.

Praise be to Allaah. 

Firstly: 

First of all we would like to congratulate you on this
keenness to perform Fajr prayer in the mosque and we ask Allah, may He be
glorified and exalted, to make you steadfast and increase you in guidance
and righteousness. 

Secondly: 

The parents should encourage their children -- males and
females -- to pray regularly on time, because the father is the shepherd of
his household and is responsible for his flock, and the mother is also a
shepherd and is responsible for her flock. 

See the answer to question number
103420 

Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have
mercy on him) was asked: 

Is it permissible for a man to go out to pray when his
children are in the house? 

He replied: 

A man is obliged to obey the command of Allah in the verse in
which He says (interpretation of the meaning): “O you who believe! Ward
off yourselves and your families against a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and
stones, over which are (appointed) angels stern (and) severe, who disobey
not, (from executing) the Commands they receive from Allaah, but do that
which they are commanded” [al-Tahreem 66:6]. He must tell his family to
pray as the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) enjoined when
he said: “Tell your children to pray when they are seven years old and smack
them if they do not do it when they are ten, and separate them in their
beds.” And Allah, may He be exalted, tells us that Ismaa’eel, the father of
the Arabs (interpretation of the meaning): “used to
enjoin on his family and his people As‑Salaah (the prayers) and the Zakaah,
and his Lord was pleased with him” [Maryam 19:55]. 

It is not permissible for him -- the father -- to leave his
children sleeping without waking them up to pray and following up on them.
It is not sufficient just to wake them up; rather it is essential to follow
up, because he may wake them up, then they go back to sleep. End quote. 

Fataawa Islamiyyah, 4/215 

The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him)
praised the young man who grows up worshipping Allah. It was narrated from
Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (blessings and
peace of Allah be upon him) said: “There are seven whom Allaah will shade
with His shade on the Day when there will be no shade but His,” a young man
who grows up worshipping Allaah, and among them he mentioned: “a young man
who grows up worshipping his Lord”.

Narrated by al-Bukhaari (629) and Muslim (1031). 

One of the most important means of helping a young person to
grow up worshipping his Lord is for his parents to take charge of his
upbringing and make him get used to that from a young age, and encourage him
to do it continually. 

Congratulations to the parents for such a son who is upset
that his father does not wake him up to offer Fajr prayer. How many fathers
there are who would be prepared to give everything they own in order for
their sons to be righteous and adhere to obedience towards Allah. It grieves
us that some parents show no interest in encouraging their children to pray
on time or to pray in congregation in the mosque. 

Thirdly: 

If your father gets up to pray on time and prays in
congregation in the mosque, then the matter is simple, in sha Allah. You can
ask him to wake you up to pray and to take you with him, and you can talk to
him about the matter calmly. 

But if he does not pray and he leaves you sleeping because he
feels sorry for you, this is undoubtedly a kind of pity that is
inappropriate, and you have to take means of waking up for prayer, such as
going to sleep early, setting the alarm clock, making your intention sincere
and asking those among your family who wake up to pray to wake you up, or
you can request a reminder phone call from some of your friends, and other
means that will help you to wake up to pray on time. 

It is a good idea to ask the neighbourhood imam to talk about
this matter in a special lesson in the mosque or in a Friday khutbah, so
that your father can hear the Islamic ruling about what he is doing and can
be alerted to the importance of telling his children and family to pray, and
that this is a duty upon him about which he will be asked before Allah, may
He be exalted. 

We ask Allah, may He be exalted, to increase His bounty and
guidance upon you and to open your father's heart to waking you for prayer,
and to make you and your family all among those who pray regularly. 

And Allah knows best.

Feeling fed up of life

 

I am a young man who has become fed up of living in this transient world. I have started to feel bored and tired of it. Is there anyone who can help? There is none who can help except Allaah!.

Praise be to Allaah.
 

 

There are many reasons
for hating this world. There are some people who dislike this transient
world and long for that which is with Allaah of reward, and who love to meet
Allaah. Hence some of the salaf said: “The gift of the believer is death.”
For he detests this world and his heart is attached to the Hereafter. Yet
despite his dislike for this world, he carries out his duties towards Allaah
and His slaves, and he strives to do good as much as he can, in accordance
with the words of Allaah (interpretation of the meaning): 

“And worship your Lord
until there comes unto you the certainty (i.e. death)”

[al-Hijr 15:99] 

And there are some people who detest this world, not because
of the Hereafter, but because they think that their share of it is very
little, and that others are better off then them. Undoubtedly this is a kind
of discontent with the will and decree of Allaah, for Allaah is the One Who
bestows blessings and distributes provisions, as He says (interpretation of
the meaning): 

“And if Allaah were to enlarge the provision for His
slaves, they would surely rebel in the earth, but He sends down by measure
as He wills. Verily, He is, in respect of His slaves, the Well‑Aware, the
All‑Seer (of things that benefit them)”

[al-Shoora 42:27] 

Some people hate this
world because they have been faced with a great deal of trial, stress and
exhaustion in it. Undoubtedly these people do not understand the true nature
of this world. This world is the realm of striving and trial, the realm of
stress and exhaustion, especially for the righteous believer, who encounters
all kinds of trials by means of which Allaah expiates his sins and raises
him in status. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“Verily, We have
created man in toil”

[al-Balad 90:4] 

“Do people think that
they will be left alone because they say: ‘We believe,’ and will not be
tested.

3. And We indeed
tested those who were before them. And Allaah will certainly make (it) known
(the truth of) those who are true, and will certainly make (it) known (the
falsehood of) those who are liars, (although Allaah knows all that before
putting them to test)”

[al-‘Ankaboot
29:2-3] 

“Allaah will not
leave the believers in the state in which you are now, until He
distinguishes the wicked from the good. Nor will Allaah disclose to you the
secrets of the Ghayb (Unseen), but Allaah chooses of His Messengers whom He
wills. So believe in Allaah and His Messengers. And if you believe and fear
Allaah, then for you there is a great reward”

[Aal ‘Imraan 3:179] 

“And certainly, We
shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and
fruits, but give glad tidings to As‑ Saabiroon (the patient).

156. Who, when
afflicted with calamity, say: “Truly, to Allaah we belong and truly, to Him
we shall return.”

157. They are those
on whom are the Salawaat (i.e. who are blessed and will be forgiven) from
their Lord, and (they are those who) receive His Mercy, and it is they who
are the guided ones”

[al-Baqarah
2:155-157] 

My dear brother… into which of these categories do you fall? 

Remember how the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah
be upon him) was tested. His people showed enmity towards him, and the
closest of people to him resisted him. Some people slandered him, others
persecuted him. He was thrown out of his home and was subjected to a harsh
boycott. The kuffaar gathered together to kill him, and his wife Khadeejah
(may Allaah be pleased with her) died at the most difficult time. He would
go for a month or two at a time without eating anything but dates and water.
All of this happened even though he was the Prophet of Allaah, and His
Messenger, the one to whom Allaah entrusted His Revelation. All of this
happened even though he is the owner of the position of praise and glory
(al-maqaam al-mahmoud) and the Cistern (al-hawd) to which his ummah will
come (on the Day of Resurrection). All of this happened even though his
sins, past and future, had been forgiven. 

So what about us, with all our sins and shortcomings? 

I advise you to do the following: 

Firstly: make a lot of du’aa’, calling upon Allaah, and seek
to draw close to Him by different kinds of worship, such as praying, giving
zakaah, fasting and so on. Beseech Allaah to take away what is in your heart
(of sorrow etc) and to grant you relief. Allaah says (interpretation of the
meaning): 

“Those who believed (in the Oneness of Allaah — Islamic
Monotheism), and whose hearts find rest in the remembrance of Allaah verily,
in the remembrance of Allaah do hearts find rest”

[al-Ra’d 13:28] 

“Verily, those who are Al-Muttaqoon (the pious), when an
evil thought comes to them from Shaytaan (Satan), they remember (Allaah),
and (indeed) they then see (aright)”

[al-A’raaf 7:201] 

Secondly: Understand
that whatever Allaah decrees for His believing slave is all good. No matter
how difficult your life may become, to Allaah belong all things in the
heavens and the earth. So set things straight between yourself and Allaah,
and Allaah will suffice you against having any need of people. 

Thirdly: Your depression and tiredness may be because of
something that you have missed out on and not acquired or achieved. In that
case you should know how often a person has pursued something, not realizing
that in it lay his doom; and how often has a person grieved for missing out
on something he wanted, but he does not know that had he attained it, it
would have spelled loss in both his spiritual and worldly affairs. So accept
the will and decree of Allaah, and seek the help of Allaah, and do not feel
helpless. 

Fourthly: Check your heart and mind, and examine your
relationship with Allaah thoroughly, because a person may be denied
provision because of sins that he commits. 

Fifthly: You may have some personal or family problems; the
way to solve these problems is by prioritizing them. Seek the help of Allaah
(first and foremost), then the help of experienced people to solve these
problems, and resolve these issues. 

Sixthly: remember that the most sorely tried of all people
were the Prophets, then the next best and the next best. It is proven in
al-Musnad from the hadeeth of Mus’ab ibn Sa’d that his father said: I
said: O Messenger of Allaah, which of the people are most sorely tested? He
said: “The Prophets, then the righteous, then the next best, then the next
best of people. A man will be tested according to his level of religious
commitment. If there is some solidness in his religious commitment, he will
be more sorely tested, and if there is some weakness in his religious
commitment the test will be lightened for him. A man will continue to be
tested until he walks upon the face of the earth with no sin on him.”
Musnad al-Imam Ahmad, no. 1481. Shaykh Shu’ayb al-Arna’oot said: its
isnaad is hasan. And it was classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh
al-Jaami’, no. 992. 

Seventhly: Persist in
praying for forgiveness and in worshipping. That is better for you than all
the worldly steps you can take, no matter how great and how many they are.
This will also relieve your worries. It was narrated in some reports that
whoever persists in praying for forgiveness, Allaah will grant him a way out
from every worry and hardship and will grant him provision from sources he
never thought of. 

So persist in worshipping Allaah, and act in accordance with
the words of Allaah (interpretation of the meaning):  

“And worship your Lord
until there comes unto you the certainty (i.e. death)”

[al-Hijr 15:99] 

“And strain not your eyes
in longing for the things We have given for enjoyment to various groups of
them (polytheists and disbelievers in the Oneness of Allaah), the splendour
of the life of this world, that We may test them thereby. But the provision
(good reward in the Hereafter) of your Lord is better and more lasting”

[Ta-Ha 20:131] 

May Allaah help us and you to do and say that which is right.
And Allaah knows best. 

Her husband does not do any of his duties, he sleeps a lot and he neglect prayers

 

My husband of eight years is a non practising muslim. He lost his job in Nov. 2002 during Ramadan and has been out of work since. He has not once prayed to Allah to ask for help with a job. Instead, he wakes up at 3, 4, 5 in the afternoon. He has even woken up at 8 or 9 o'clock in the evening. he then plays on the computer ALL night and goes to bed at 6 or 7 in the morning, when I am getting up for fajr namaz. We have 3 children whom he hardly sees because they are usually going to bed as he is getting up. If i try to wake him in the mornings to take the children to school, or on a Friday for Jumaah namaz, he will shout or swear or hit me. I have to look after the children myself, go and do all the shopping even for meat. I don't like to go to the meat shop because only men are there.but if I don't go he thratens to kick me out of the home. I am also at college so it is very hard for me to do everything myself. I always pray to Allah for his guidance and help but I am only human and the situation is getting more difficult. I cannot cope with things as they are. I am not exagerrating when I tell you he is on the computer every night and not looking for a job. Since November he has been shopping only 2 times, taken the children to school maybe 10 times. He does'nt leave the house to visit family, and nobody comes to visit anymore. Our money is getting less and he tells me to leave the house if I don't like things. I cannot bear to look or speak to him, but still I pray to Allah that our situation is improved, and that Allah may choose to open my husbands eyes and heart. His parents have spoken to him, but he doesn't listen, and now his mother is always blaming me. I didn't loose him his job, neither do I complain about him not finding another one. I am not a wife who asks for alot of money to buy gold and jewellery and fancy clothes, but I do want good things for my children and food at home, this is why I go to college so insh'allah i can find a suitable job. But my husband won't stop this addiction of the computer, he doesn't stop shouting at the children every day if they become noisy while they are playing and he is sleeping during the day. What can I do?.

Praise be to Allaah.
 

 

We ask Allaah to help you and give you strength, and to guide
your husband aright. 

Undoubtedly by taking care of your children and being keen to
guide your husband, you are doing good and will be rewarded in sha Allaah,
for Allaah does not cause the reward of those who do good to be lost. 

Our advice to you is to keep on being patient and making
du’aa’ for your husband, and striving to guide him, through his parents, his
brothers and those who have any influence on him. If a man neglects his duty
towards his family he exposes himself to the wrath and anger of Allaah,
because he is neglecting that which Allaah has entrusted to his care. The
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Each of you
is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock. The ruler is the
shepherd of his people and is responsible for his flock. A man is the
shepherd of his family and is responsible for his flock….” This hadeeth was
narrated by al-Bukhaari, 893; Muslim, 1826, from Ibn ‘Umar. And the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said of his household:
“Allaah will ask every shepherd about that which was entrusted to his care,
whether he took care of it or neglected it, and He will even ask a man about
his family.” Narrated by Ibn Hibbaan, classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in
Ghaayat al-Maraam, no. 271 

And he said: “It is sufficient sin for a man to neglect those
who are under his care.” Narrated by Ahmad and Abu Dawood from the hadeeth
of ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Amr; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh
al-Jaami’, no. 827. 

And he said: “There is no
man whom Allaah causes to be appointed to a position of responsibility and
he does not discharge his duties sincerely, but he will not even smell the
fragrance of Paradise.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 6731. 

We do not think that your husband would like to have this
warning directed at him, or that he would want his wife to spend on him and
take care of him. This is something that men instinctively dislike. 

You said that he sleeps and misses the prayers because he
stays up at night and wastes his time. This means that he is in grave danger
from another angle. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“Then, there has succeeded them a posterity who have given
up As‑Salah (the prayers) [i.e. made their Salah (prayers) to be lost,
either by not offering them or by not offering them perfectly or by not
offering them in their proper fixed times] and have followed lusts. So they
will be thrown in Hell”

[Maryam 19:59] 

Ibn Mas’ood said that
al-Ghayy (translated here as “Hell”) is a valley in Hell that is very deep
and has an awful taste. 

And Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“. So woe unto those performers of Salaah (prayers),

5. Those who delay their Salaah (prayer from their stated
fixed times)”

[al-Maa’oon 107:4-5] 

This refers to those who delay their prayers from the proper
times. But if he does not pray at all, then this is kufr which puts him
beyond the pale of Islam, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) said: “Between a man and shirk and kufr there stands his
giving up prayer.” Narrated by Muslim, 82. 

And he said: “The covenant that stands between us and them is
prayer. Whoever gives it up is a kaafir.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2621;
al-Nasaa’i, 463; Ibn Maajah, 1079; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani. 

In that case you have to advise him, and if he persists in
not praying, then you have to prevent him from being intimate with you until
he repents and starts to pray.

 We ask Allaah to set the affairs of all the Muslims traight.

 And Allaah knows best.

She is jealous because her husband cares more about his sister than her

 

I never used to quarrel with my husband before.i love him very much.i have 5 month old baby.i'm very worried now thats why i'm requesting your kind suggesion.  


my husband has a sister she with her husband and three children resides near our flat.whenever i my husband his sister and her husband goes out to buy things my husband and she will go together without minding me and her husband.she used to call my husband everyday in his office.she want him to ask her oppinion in every matters.so sometimes i feel very bad and quarrel with my hus.i know thats not good for a mulim woman so i used to ask him to forgive me. she used to tell him things like her daughters periods and all.she used to complaint her husband in most of the matters.is it correct. i want to know whether a man has more responsibility for his sister (who got married and an earning husband)than his wife?  


please give your valid oppinion.may allah bless you&may your every good wishes come true.

Praise be to Allaah.
 

 

Firstly: 

The relationship between a man and his family
should not get in the way of his relationship with his wife and children. The smart wife is the one who is keen for her husband to develop a
strong relationship with his own family and for there to be friendship and love between them. She should not be an obstacle in the way of the
happiness of her husband’s family. 

The smart wife is wise in her dealings if she
sees some shortcomings in the way he treats his children and wife, and she is wise if she sees him exaggerating in his concern for his family at
the expense of his wife and children. So she makes him aware of his mistake by hinting, not by stating it bluntly, and she advises him without
hurting his feelings, and shows him the right way without making him feel that he is wrong, letting him feel that she loves his family and cares
for them. 

A woman should not think that her husband’s
care for his family will make him fall short in his duties towards her and his children. There is a difference between a husband falling short in
his duties towards his wife and children and his loving his family. What makes a man care for his family is his love for them, not his negligence
towards his wife and children. 

Secondly: 

Your husband has rights and you have duties.
Each of you should do that which is enjoined upon him or her by sharee’ah. Sharee’ah cannot make a man stop loving his family because he has got
married, and we cannot ask him to suppress his feelings for the sake of his wife and children. They were his family before he got married and they
will remain his family after he gets married. 

You have to try hard to deal with your own
feelings, and advise your husband when he falls short in his duties towards you and his children. You do not have the right to denounce him for
his love for his sister or his family. There is the fear in such situations that the man will say, “I can find a thousand wives but I cannot find
another brother or sister.” So beware of making the matter reach that state. 

At the same time we advise the husband to be
pay attention to his wife’s feelings and to take care of his wife and children. We also advise the sister to give her brother similar advice. 

Islam enjoins doing that which is in the
interests of all concerned, so that they may share in building the family, not destroying it. All of us must do the duties that Allaah has
enjoined upon us, without exaggeration or neglect. 

And Allaah is the Guide to the straight path.

I want my relationship with my husband to go back to the way it was

 

I have a problem and only my Lord knows how bad it is. My problem is that my husband treats me badly and betrays me and does not acknowledge his Lord. This complete change happened three years ago and I have been putting up with it for so long for the sake of my children and in the hope that he would change. I used to think that his mother was influencing him, because his mother used to criticize me all the time behind my back even though I treated her well and respected her and took care of her. But she used to feel jealous of my husband’s love for me, and I felt that, even though in front of me she pretended to show love because I used to treat her well. This happened three years ago when she stayed with us in our house for five months after her husband passed away, and she left us after we traveled abroad for work. Since that time I have been suffering terribly. 


My husband is no longer the husband that I know. I hope that you can help me, because I do not know what to do any more to bring him back to the way he was before. My sister is certain that he has been bewitched and is not in his right mind. Is this possible? And if it is then what can I do? I hope that you can advise me, because I do not want to get divorced or to turn to charlatans. My sister told me that there is a man of religion who treats people by means of Qur’aan, and she asked me to give her my picture and a picture of my husband. But I was afraid that this might incur the wrath of Allaah. Is that permissible? What should I do in this situation? I hope that you will help me, because I am in a difficult situation. I hope that you will answer me quickly. I am turning to you – after Allaah – in the hope that my Lord will show me a way out. May Allaah relieve you of all difficulty and may Allaah reward you with all good.

Praise be to Allaah.
 

 

You should note that by His wisdom, Allaah tests His slaves
with good and evil, to show who among them will obey Him in all
circumstances and who will only obey Him in some circumstances. Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning): 

“Who has created death and life that He may test you which
of you is best in deed. And He is the All-Mighty, the Oft-Forgiving”

[al-Mulk 67:2] 

“and We shall make a trial of you with evil and with good.
And to Us you will be returned”

[al-Anbiya’ 21:35] 

One of the kinds of tests is that Allaah may test one spouse
with bad treatment on the part of the other, for whatever reason. Based on
this, if what you have mentioned is correct and your husband has been
bewitched or affected by strong hasad (envy) – for witchcraft and the evil
eye do have an effect, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) said, “The evil eye is real” (narrated by al-Bukhaari, no. 5408;
Muslim, 2187) – then you have to do the following: 

1 – Remember Allaah a great deal (dhikr) and pray for
forgiveness. Ask Allaah to heal your husband and to make him be as he used
to be. Nothing can alter the divine decree except du’aa’.  

2 – Think about yourself and the way you treat your husband.
It may be that you have changed in the way you treat him, without realizing.
Be the best wife you can to him, and the best help, after Allaah. Stand be
his side during this trial and be his support, after Allaah. 

3 – Do not go to that so-called man of religion, for he is
asking for your picture in order to practice trickery. See question no.
21124. 

4 – There is nothing wrong with you going with your husband
to a trustworthy shaykh, who treats people by means of the Qur’aan and
du’aa’s prescribed by the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him). You could also recite Qur’aan over some water and you and your
husband drink from it, and you could recite ruqyah over him every day, and
recite Soorat al-Baqarah in the house. For more information on the ways of
undoing the effects of witchcraft please see the following questions:
11290,
4010,
21124,
12198,
8291,
20954. For
information on protection against witchcraft, please see questions no.
2662 and
22816. For
information on various kinds of witchcraft please see questions no.
12578,
9432,
240. 

5 – Assuming that what has happened to your husband is not
witchcraft or hasad (envy), then sit with him and discuss things frankly.
Tell him what you feel, and agree to go back to the way things were. 

6 – You can ask some people – especially trustworthy
relatives - to intervene and seek a solution to this problem, and to look
into its causes and try to find a way of resolving it. 

Finally, we advise you to weigh up your husband’s good points
and bad points, and do not forget his good qualities and his kind treatment
of you, because that will motivate you to try to bring him back to the right
path in his religion and in his relationship with his Lord, first of all,
then in his relationship with you. 

May Allaah make things easy for you, and make your husband happy with your obedience and make you happy with his good treatment. And Allaah knows best.

He is having a problem with his second wife and he fears for his daughter

 

I would appreciate if you could guide me and let me know about below mentioned queries as per Islamic Ruling and Values, those are as follows: A. If a wife (my 2nd wife) fabricate false documents and files cases one after an other about dowry, maintenance etc and abuse her husband behind his back while living with her mother. What are the Islamic ruling on this. (I have tried to reconcile with her but no avail and this will be her 3rd divorce but she doesn't feel ashamed. She just want money.) B. She file a divorce case in the court. Should it be considered a Khula. if not then why not. C. Who should have the custody of a child. I don't want to say bad things about her just describing few facts. As her life style is not caring and good enough to raise a child. Her formal and informal education is low level. So in future her style will influence the child's characters. On top of that by phone she told me that she will make my child a bad person. To save that child who should have the custody. Even-though, if she works and makes some money but money is not a life, life means values, such as living with high social, moral and religious values. From above mentioned values side, she is not very strong. D. When she works, her mother can take care of our child. Her mother's is an illiterate person and she, (I overheard) her mother use bad words for our child. How can she educate her etc. As per Islamic law, is it right to let some else in a family to take care of the child instead of her father. Who is more educated and have high standard for religious and other values. More respectable in the society. I believe I can make my child a good citizen with high social, moral and religious values.

Praise be to Allaah.
 

 

The basic principle concerning divorce is that it is makrooh
(disliked), as is indicated by the verse in which Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning): 

“Those who take an oath not to have sexual relation with
their wives must wait for four months, then if they return (change their
idea in this period), verily, Allaah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.

227. And if they decide upon divorce, then Allaah is
All-Hearer, All-Knower”

[al-Baqarah 2:226] 

In relation to changing their minds He said “Oft-Forgiving,
Most Merciful” and in relation to divorce He said “All-Hearer,
All-Knower”. This indicates a kind of warning, which in turn indicates
that divorce is disliked by Allaah (makrooh).  

But there may be some cases in which divorce is inevitable,
and even essential. In the case which you mention, divorce may be the
appropriate solution, because it is unthinkable that a wife would treat her
husband in such a bad way as you describe in your question. A woman could
say or do something to offend her husband, but to be constantly ungrateful
is very strange.  

But before divorce, you have to try to reconcile first, and
put up with the woman. If she has some bad characteristics, you will also
find some good qualities, so you can put up with the bad characteristics
because of the good ones. 

See questions no. 20044
and 2076. 

If you can get some relatives involved to solve the problem,
then do so, as an act of mercy to this poor girl who will suffer – no matter
what the situation – from the bitterness of separation and the break-up of
the family. 

If divorce is the final solution, and you have exhausted all
possible solutions, then pray istikhaarah (asking for guidance) and consult
others, and put your trust in Allaah. 

With regard to the matters that she has referred to the
court, this may be a request to the qaadi (judge) to compel the husband to
divorce her by talaaq or it may be khula’, depending on the situation. If
she is going to give the husband some money or return the mahr to him in
return for getting a divorce, then this is khula’; if she is not going to
pay anything then this is talaaq, if it takes place. 

With regard to custody, the basic principle is that the
mother has more right to custody, so long as there is no impediment to that.
If there is any impediment, such as the mother marrying someone who is a
stranger (non-mahram) to the child, or the mother’s character or attitude is
bad, then custody passes to the mother’s mother according to the majority.
If the mother’s mother is the same (i.e., of bad character etc) then custody
passes to the father. Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah was of the view that in
the case of a dispute between the mother’s mother and the father, custody
should be given to the father, because he is closer to the child. This view
was also favoured by Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen in his commentary on the chapter
on custody in Zaad al-Mustaqni’. We have already discussed this in
detail in question no. 5234,
9463,
8189, and
21516. And Allaah knows best.